


The Contract

by SidingWithTheAngels (siding_with_the_angels)



Series: The Devil's Carnival [2]
Category: Supernatural, The Devil's Carnival (2012)
Genre: M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Violence, Wingfic, wing!kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-10 22:26:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siding_with_the_angels/pseuds/SidingWithTheAngels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prologue to The Devil's Carnival. </p><p>The Painted Doll, Castiel, has hated his life here from the moment he fell. He's hated but he'd dealt with it. But things are about to change, you see there is this new attendee and while Castiel hasn't set eyes upon him yet his own tarnished grace pulls him towards the sinful man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Kissing Booth

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by [twinkletoedean](http://twinkletoedean.tumblr.com/) ugh beautiful human being right here who just stepped up for the challenge praise her XD

Dean knows his past life, he remembers things, but all those things seem to matter less and less relevant as the years in hell grow. He will never forget his mother, his father, his little brother Sammy, but they are gone now. They are on another plane of existence while Dean is here, a carnie, a performer, at The Devil’s Carnival.

It wasn’t always like that, not even close. About 1,895 years ago everything was twisted, ruined, he was still a human inside this living, breathing hell. He had come here as an attendee, as almost every carnie starts out. He talks to the Ticket Keeper, he eyes up The Tamer and he takes off, needing to protect his little brother Sammy.

He’s running through the booths, through the tents, right past the people to get to this unreachable goal. It’s when he reaches a large opening that he sees him, the carnie that changes his life.

He’s beautiful, even with cracks covering his face making him look like some forsaken doll. His blue eyes shine past the cracks, they reach towards him, and he can’t help but walk over. Maybe this carnie will help him, after all the booth he is residing at has ‘information’ written on it.

As he nears closer he realizes that the smudges below the word ‘information’ are actually other words ‘for kisses’ exactly. Well, Dean might have never thought about kissing another male back home but he’s desperate now and it’s not like anyone can run home and tell on him.

"So if I kiss you, you’ll help me?"

The carnie, with his blue eyes and cracked features, nods, his face expressionless. He leans over and pats the wording once more before looking up at Dean. How can one human look so… naive while running a freaking kissing booth in The Devil’s Carnival? But this carnie looks so innocent and Dean can’t help it, after all he needs to find Sammy.

So he leans forward just as the carnie leans forward and the kiss is chaste, but Dean has never felt lips like this, warm, cracked and soft. Like the lips of an innocent sinner. He pulls away and the carnie opens his mouth, “They call me Painted Doll.” He answers, a small smile actually pulling at his face.

Dean expects it doesn’t look normal to others here, that this ‘Painted Doll’ never expresses his emotions and by the deep guttural sound of his voice, he doesn’t really talk that much even. Sudden sympathy fills Dean; this man is too beautiful to be ignored. “I wasn’t going to ask that.” He answers dumbly, his eyes now locking with the other’s. Painted Doll’s face goes stone for a second but Dean’s next words soften them immediately, “Does that mean I have to kiss you again? You know, to ask my question?” Painted Doll smiles at that and gives a curt nod, letting his slender index tap the words below his booth.

The next kiss isn’t like the first, it’s magnetic, they move together like some kind of crazy force, hot mouths and greedy tongues and for a second (or maybe a little longer) Dean forgets about everything else. He is focused on this beautiful, broken carnie that hasn’t backed away or given any hint of stopping. Dean doesn’t mind, not in the slightest, as he moves his hands up to the soft curls of dark brown that crown his new kissing partner. He’s never kissed a man before, he doubts he ever really will again, but this man? This shatters every doubt he’s ever had, back in high school people used to whisper about how kissing someone of the same sex was gross, how their mouths never really worked and it was just awkward.

As Painted Doll’s tongue slides into Dean’s mouth, Dean doubts all those rumors, maybe they just never kissed anyone like this? Never put their desperation into it, never put their hearts into it. He feels warm hands moving up his arms, and strong fingers playing at the fringe of hair at the back of his head.

He doesn’t stop his hands, he enjoys the feeling, the only problem? The god damn booth is cutting into his stomach like a mother fucker and it’s starting to ruin the kiss. He pulls away and gasps for air, but doesn’t remove his hands from Painted Dolls face, nor does he remove his eyes from the other’s face. The cracks marring his skin seem to almost be tattooed if they weren’t slightly elevated from the expanse of skin. His crystal blue eyes are a couple shades darker now, and Dean realizes that’s because of him. Pride rushes through him, and a small smirk plays on his lips, he really can’t help it.

As if listening to Dean’s inner-montage, the Painted Doll actually bows his head with a light pink tint sprinkling his cheeks and a soft smile creeping on his lips. “So what do you wish to know?”

A smile quirks on Dean’s lips and he honest-to-god can’t remember what he was going to ask, “Whoa, you can ask questions too?” He teases slightly, the hand still left on the Painted Dolls face trailing over the largest crack. “What’s your real name?” He asks suddenly, because when Painted Doll had proclaimed ‘they call me’ and not ‘my name is,’ it lead Dean to the fact that it wasn’t his real name, and Dean needed to know.”

Painted Doll shook his head, his eyes, for the first time, truly disappearing from Dean’s sight as his hands fell from around Dean’s neck. “I cannot tell.”

Dean didn’t question it but instead stated, “That’s bullshit.” He wanted to know, he wanted to be able to roll this name off his lips late at night when he was empty and alone. The Painted Doll just shrugged, “Please ask me something else.”

Dean nodded, wracking his brain for the questions that plagued him. Aggravated by his own forgetfulness Dean breaks eye contact for the first time and everything comes back like a shot. Sammy. Sammy cornered and panicking, Dean running, his veins feeling like they’re filled with battery acid, Dean, ignoring pain and getting there just in time, Sammy calling his name like he’s Sammy’s saving grace. It was then that Dean pulled his knives out, threatening and desperate to save his brother. That’s when they drew their guns and Dean saw red. After that there was nothing and Dean needed to get Sammy safe. That’s all that mattered here and now and Dean had forgotten all of it for the sake of making out.

Opening his eyes he was met with pools of soft blue, filled with concern and —pity. That was pity. “Where’s my brother?” Dean’s voice is much colder than before, but those eyes keep him from getting too aggravated and seeing the infamous red.

For Painted Doll’s credit he doesn’t stutter, “He’s not here.” Shock riddled Dean, and disbelief and anger filled him, “What the fuck do you mean by that?”

This time Painted Doll stayed silent, just resting his eyes on the dusty old words below his booth before looking back up at Dean. Dean let out a merciless laugh at that, “Oh, of course, you can’t tell me.”

No response.

Dean throws his hands up, a physical representation of him giving up, “Whatever.” he growls ripping his eye contact from Painted Doll towards the left, towards the sign for The Big Top.

"Wait," It’s barely audible, but Dean hears the deep voice call to him and causes for pause. "Don’t go that way," Painted Doll’s face is emotionless while his eyes shine sadness and defiance. "To see your brother you would have to go that way." He points the way, his head raising slightly as if he has decided to accept his decision. "Be careful. Not all is what it seems." They lock eyes once more as Dean passes, noticing how there are now two people out of the corner of his eye, The Tamer and Ticket Keeper.

Dean doesn’t think on it long, he doesn’t have time to, the last thing he thinks of is how he hopes this will all work out, yet somehow he doubts it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	2. 666 Rules

"Good day." Ticket Keeper greets as he walks over to Castiel, and Castiel knows he’s in trouble. Mainly because The Tamer is staring at him with that glint in his eye, but Castiel was here before he ever got here, so there is a certain level of respect between the two.

Castiel nods in greeting towards them both, but says nothing out of habit, so Ticket Keeper continues with some trepidation in his voice, “You know you are coming very close to breaking rule 28?”

  _Rule 28: Do not help the attendees._  


Castiel makes no movement to acknowledge this; to deny or accept would condemn him. Ticket Keeper seems to understand this and sighs in defeat, “Be careful Painted Doll, remember Lucifer placed those rules for a reason.”

Castiel almost laughs but instead controls himself, only letting out a snort of amusement, “Yes and remember who was the original rule breaker.”

That stumped Ticket Keeper for a good moment, and resulted in a small nod of his head, “Well, just be careful.” Castiel dismisses his comment with a short nod.

After watching both men walk away Castiel leaves his booth. He was no longer needed here, but somewhere else? Most definitely.

* * *

Following Dean around without being caught is one of the hardest tasks Castiel had ever set for himself. The other man was constantly vigilant and extremely gifted with being able to sense people watching him. It resulted in many quick hides for Castiel, but he continued to watch over this attendee; there was something about him that was special, and Castiel wasn’t just saying that to be dramatic.

Being an angel, even if it is a fallen one, gives a man perks, such as being able to see other’s souls. Dean’s soul shines bright with a sort of chaotic love and over all goodness. But there are sins written over that shine in black marker. These things can be fixed, things Castiel can repair with time, things he wants to erase from that light, a light his grace wouldn’t mind hoarding away for the rest of eternity. He can feel his grace sing when around this man.

It’s when Dean cuts the line (Rule 62) that Castiel knows he needs to interfere. Dean was trying to get into the hall of mirrors and had removed the velvet roping when Ticket Keeper and the Tamer showed up, this time not for Castiel, but for Dean.

"You do realize you just broke Rule 62, correct?" Ticket Keeper says, a frown on his whiskered lips. Dean turns around with pained expression.

"I’m sorry but I _need_ to find my little brother. He’s in trouble and he needs my help."

Ticket Keeper tsks, “It is a noble cause, but I am afraid that the rules are made to be kept.” With that, he gave a look to The Tamer as the man steps forward towards Dean. Castiel moves closer to the group in the shadows, no one sees him which is good; he doesn’t think it would be wise to interrupt yet.

Dean surprises Castiel and everyone there; instead of taking flight or fighting he shrugs off his jacket to reveal a simple V-neck shirt. “Fine.” He states in a clipped tone before placing his jacket on one of the rope poles. “Let’s get this over with.” He steps closer to The Tamer, opening his nearly exposed chest to the mace in The Tamer’s hands.

The Tamer gives a look towards Ticket Keeper, as if unbelieving this man would do this, but Castiel with his grace knows every sin Dean is doomed for, and this is one of them.

There’s a moment’s silence as Dean falls to his knees and rests his head in his hands, exposing his back. Nothing is done in the next couple of seconds, as if The Tamer is unsure if this even feels worth it; not a single attendee has offered to take their punishment before. Dean would go down in the history books for this display.

It’s the moment that The Tamer sends his first strike that Castiel’s grace flares, flares for the first true time since his fall. He feels it coil and snap inside of him at this attack on Dean. They only shared a kiss, but somehow that was enough, this soul, it was worth it.

Castiel jumps into action by the fifth hit; up until this point Dean had remained completely silent. But now he lets out a near nonexistent whimper, his back already torn to shreds by the spikes upon the mace. Castiel rushes forward when The Tamer recoils his arm, ready for another attack. But one moment there is bleeding flesh, and the next the broken body is covered in large black wings and the body of one familiar carnie.

"What are you doing?" Hisses Ticket Keeper, his brown eyes wide with surprise. "You’re breaking your brother’s rules!" He continues, reaching over to try and tear Castiel off of Dean’s bleeding and shaking body.

"Bite me, Bobby." Castiel growls, his hands frantically moving over the worst of the gashes on Dean’s back to heal them. He gets about two done when The Tamer finally pulls him off the bleeding body.

The Tamer is relentless in his beatings, this was a known fact in the carnival, but Castiel has never been at the receiving end. The mace is ice except for the places where the warm blood from Dean’s back still stuck. Castiel was a warrior in Heaven, this is nothing compared to those tortures. He takes it and watches as Ticket Keeper helps Dean up, handing back his shirt.

Dean turns towards him and makes a move as if he was going to help, as if he could somehow stop this. He opens his mouth, fear furrowing his brow when a different voice all together speaks.

"Stop!" The ground shakes, the lights flicker and Castiel knows exactly who is calling. After all, the devil you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[The Tamer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75191339795/empty-shell-animated-corpse-carnie-the)] [[Ticket Keeper Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75106769184/order-makes-us-forget-the-sins-of-our-past)]


	3. The Meeting of the Unholy

Castiel knows Lucifer’s office like the back of his hand. It contains the things that an average carnie have, the mirror, the makeup, the record player. But because Lucifer is the ringmaster, he gets a few perks, like the red silk that hangs everywhere, vaguely reminding Castiel of streams of blood.

As if a sign Castiel’s eyes flick to Dean’s back, it’s almost completely healed. The good thing about hell and grace? Wounds heal faster. 

Castiel turns back to his brother, who had dragged both Dean and Castiel here to ‘reprimand’ them. Now they both sat in the cracked leather seats, staring at anywhere but Lucifer. 

"I don’t know what to do with the both of you." Lucifer’s voice cuts the silence like a katana, strong, fast and inevitably destructive. Castiel doesn’t speak; he holds in his words because once they start, there will be no end to them. He’s mad, and he will take it out on his brother. 

It’s Dean who talks first, “Where is my fucking brother?” 

Castiel sighs and chances a look at Lucifer, whose amusement is clearly written on his face. 

"He’s not here, you abortion." Lucifer snaps coolly, his blue eyes snapping towards Dean, "So, how about you shut that mouth of yours?" 

Dean opens his mouth to retort but no sound comes out, and he struggles for a while, panicking slightly. It’s weird to see someone who is unknowing of the power of The Devil. Ever since Castiel was made he knew the true potential of his brother. To see someone who doesn’t… it’s odd. 

Castiel snaps out of his reverie and turns his attention to his brother, “Stop it Lucifer.” His voice is deeper than before, the grace in his chest powering his voice box as it tries to escape and help the clueless human. 

Lucifer’s face seemed to light up at that, amusement covering his features. Pointing towards Dean and back at Castiel he stared at both of them, “Whoa are you telling me something?” He took a pause for dramatic effect, “Are you two…?” 

Castiel rolled his eyes, Lucifer was as bad as Gabriel, if not worse; after all, Gabriel  _learned it_  from Lucifer. “Could you please act professional for once?” Castiel regretted it the moment he said it, Lucifer’s face returning to its normal expression of cruelty as he crossed his arms, resting his index finger upon his chin as he looked at them both.

"If that’s what you wish… little brother." Castiel saw movement from the corner of his eye, Dean putting two and two together and kinda freaking out, his eyes huge orbs as he stared at Castiel. 

So yeah, ok, he kind of made out with Dean and now Dean knows he happens to be Lucifer’s little brother, but… that doesn’t change anything… right? 

The silence was yet again palpable, with Dean being unable to talk, and Castiel being too stubborn to open his mouth again. Lucifer sighed, lowering his head slightly to rub his forehead, “You two together will do nothing.” He motions his hand over the two of them before continuing, “Dean, leave the room. Don’t try running away, you’ll never find your brother that way. Understood?” 

With a snap of his fingers Dean’s vocals were returned, “Yeah.” He croaks out, trying to get used to having a voice again. 

"Good." Lucifer nods towards the door, "Now, if you wouldn’t be so kind." 

The moment Dean leaves the room the awkward silence goes away, and is replaced by the comfortable silence of brothers. Castiel and Lucifer had always been close; after all, that connection was why Castiel was here in the first place. 

Sitting down, Lucifer relaxed, rubbing his temples slightly, “You are very troublesome, Castiel.” 

Castiel made a sarcastic sound at that, rolling his eyes as he rests his head against the seat’s back. “Says the original rebel.” 

Lucifer snorts at that, shaking his head ever so slightly, “Where did Father go wrong with us?” It was meant to be a joke but the room turned icy; Father didn’t do anything wrong with Castiel. It was Lucifer, it always was. 

"Free will." Castiel covers, his voice slightly clipped and hardly covering the disdain in his tone. 

Frowning Lucifer slid forward in his seat, closer to Castiel as to get a better look at him, “What do you want me to do, Castiel? You broke a rule.” 

Sitting up straight and swiveling his head towards his brother, Castiel’s brain raced for an answer. He knew what his grace wanted, he knew what he wanted, but what was proper? Could he even condemn a man to this life? After all, Castiel was tired of it; to keep someone else here out of his own boredom would be self-centered. 

Lucifer seemed to understand, even providing a show of sympathy in his eyes as Castiel started, “I—”.  A pause as Castiel looked down at his blood stained hands from earlier’s healing. “I want you to explain all of this to him.” He finishes, finally deciding what to do. “I want you to explain what really happened to his brother, what happened to us.” His voice was sure now, his blue eyes cool with determination. “I want you to  _ask_  him to stay.” 

After a moment of deliberation Lucifer sat back, letting out a puff of air and giving a curt nod. “As you wish, brother.” Castiel knew this would be difficult, after all there was no reason Dean would want to stay in hell. But what was left for Castiel to place hope in but the broken, sinful man himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)]


	4. Terms & Conditions

When Dean was invited back to join both Lucifer and Painted Doll he knew something was up, especially with the way Lucifer watched him carefully, the way that Painted Doll avoided eye contact.

Dean had spent a lot of time with people who were hiding things; he knew the signs and these were them. “What’s going on?” He asked, walking closer to Painted Doll’s chair subconsciously as he stared down Lucifer, seeing no reason to trust the Devil enough to take his eyes off of him.

Lucifer snorted, shaking his head ever so slightly as he points towards the seat Dean had previously vacated, “Sit, boy, we have a lot to talk about.”

Dean only obliged because Painted Doll looked up at this point, eyes pleading to just  _listen._ Sighing, Dean sits down, giving a raised eyebrow in anticipation towards Lucifer. “Well? Let’s hear it.”

"Such patience," Lucifer jabs before sharing a look with Castiel, the sort of look Dean would share with Sam, the ‘brother-bond-look’ as once called by his mother.

Shifting slightly in his seat to look better at Dean, Lucifer started up once again, “This is something that never happens, you must understand this. And, if you were to say ‘no’ to our proposition, this conversation will be erased from your mind.” Painted Doll opened his to argue, but Lucifer held up a finger, effectively shutting him up much to Dean’s chagrin. “Castiel, you have already stated your terms, now I have my own.”

This is how Dean, for the first time, learned what Painted Doll’s real name was. Mentally writing it down in the farthest and most sacred recesses of his mind, he turned his attention back to Lucifer.

With a quick second look at Castiel, Lucifer turned his full attention back to Dean, “Castiel and I are very special.” Dean holds in a snort, for Castiel’s sake. “Unlike the majority of the carnies here, we are not human, never were.” Dean’s eyes shift to Castiel who is studying his fingers, “We were once angels; still angels in our own right.” Lucifer paused, but whether for dramatic effect or for it to sink in, it didn’t matter. Dean needed to think on this.

In all honesty, it kind of made sense, what with Castiel attracting Dean over almost automatically. It also helped him understand how his back was healed and… and that pull that’s going on in his chest. Ever since they kissed, hell, ever since they saw each other, something in Dean’s chest has been aching, physically aching to be closer to Castiel. He didn’t even realize it until now.

Lucifer must have thought that was enough time for him to digest the information, because he continues, “I convinced my littlest brother to join me in the fall, and this is why Castiel is here.” Something about that statement feels way too close to home and Dean shifts his position in the chair as Lucifer continues. “We fell together. Granted, my fall was a little more… aggressive due to my stature, but Castiel here…” There is a pause in which they share a small look and Castiel nods for him to continue. “He can never step foot back into Heaven.”

Dean’s eyes fall back onto Castiel now, who had now opted to stare at the ground instead of his hands, which lay clenched in his lap. Pain shot through Dean. Dean had a home, he had a mother and father, hell, he even had a dog when he was a kid. But Castiel? He had Lucifer, and judging by the animosity they shared before Dean left, he wasn’t even sure if that was worth it. But this brought up a question, one that didn’t exactly make sense to Dean.

"That sucks-" Smooth Winchester, smooth. "But what does this have to do with me?" Lucifer snorts and rolls his eyes, resting his head in his palm for a second before rubbing at the skin, skin which seems to be covered in makeup. It seems as though Lucifer uses a fair amount of concealer on the sides of his face to cover up… decaying skin, that’s the only term for it.

Noticing Dean’s reaction Lucifer looks at his hand and frowns in disgust. “Lovely.” He reaches over his desk to a box of tissues and wipes the removed concealer off his hand before basket shooting the tissue into a trash can and turning back to Dean. The sores over his face are distracting but those cold eyes are much more compelling, in the worst way. “Anyway, Dean, this matters because I want you to know your brother isn’t here. Never was, and probably won’t be.” 

Relief shoots through Dean, Sammy’s in Heaven, he can deal with that. The cheshire grin crawling across Lucifer’s face suddenly sends chills throughout him. “What?” Dean asks in the most controlled voice he can muster. 

Lucifer is already shaking his head, “Oh, you misunderstand, Dean. It seems like the last thing you did on earth did save your brother while it condemned you here.” 

Dean suddenly remembers, a knife to a gun fight wasn’t the best plan of his. But he was always good with knives; his father had taught him how to use them well. He had managed to cut a path of escape for Sam before the bullet in his lungs finally took effect. Before he started coughing up blood. Sam tried to stay, but Dean made him leave, made him save himself. The last thing of his human life Dean remembered was the taste of copper, and Sam’s back as he booked it to the nearest store. 

Dean blinks and moves his tongue around his mouth, removing the memory of blood before looking at Lucifer. “But he’s good?” He can’t help worrying; Sam is his little brother, man. 

Lucifer’s face actually softens at that before he nods, “He is alive and well. He goes to college and has a girlfriend.” 

Dean nods at that, actually he nods several times as if to convince himself. “Ok…” He pauses, letting his brain process everything, “I hope she’s not fucking crazy. He has a bad habit of going for those.” 

Lucifer snorts and shakes his head, “That, I cannot help you with.” The room seems to relax then, like they’re just a couple guys sharing a beer and swapping life stories. Except it’s a painted doll, the devil, and a broken man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)]


	5. The Deal with The Devil

Castiel knows what’s coming next, the big play, the big crescendo, just how Lucifer likes to play it. He watches as Lucifer leans forward, connecting his eyes with Dean, and making sure to get his point across. “But Dean, you realize what this means, correct? This means there is no one waiting in Heaven for you.” It’s aggressively put, but Lucifer has his reasons, “Not that Heaven is that great to begin with.” Dean snorts at that and Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “You don’t believe me?” 

"Not exactly. I mean you’re the Devil, right? Why would you tell the truth?" 

Lucifer makes an amused sound at that, shaking his head slightly before looking towards Castiel himself, “Hey Cassie,” Castiel rolls his eyes, damn he hates that, “Do I lie?” 

Once again Castiel rolls his eyes, he feels so awkward right now; this is something important and his brother is asking him to lie for him. “You do.” He answers, “But you tell the truth as well, especially when you know it will mess with the person’s head.” 

Lucifer gives Castiel the ‘look,’ the one that translates to ‘ _you fucking want him here at least try to convince him to stay_.’ And Lucifer is right, he should be trying harder, and Heaven  _is_  much worse than Hell, if he was to be honest. Here in Hell you only have to follow 666 rules, and often breaking rules just means you get beaten, not like in Heaven where your tongue will quite possibly be ripped out of your mouth for good. Castiel shivers slightly before looking in Dean’s direction, but not in his eyes, “Heaven is rather bad.” 

Dean nods a little at that, and Castiel returns to lowering his head as Lucifer starts speaking again, “There’s only 666 rules here; in Heaven there is about a book full of them.” Castiel nods at that, but says nothing, just watches as Dean’s face crinkles in confusion. 

"What are you getting at?" 

Lucifer slides forward on his seat slightly, time for the kill, “We’re asking you to stay until Heaven sounds like the better option.” 

Dean laughs, a sound that would probably sound pleasant in normal circumstances, but it’s too harsh, too clipped, and it makes Castiel cringe. 

Dean either ignores this or doesn’t see it, because he laughs out, “Why the fuck would I do that?”

Castiel debates leaving, because at this moment his grace is thrashing against his rib cage, screaming for one more touch before it never sees Dean, because that’s the thing, he won’t stay.

But bless damn Lucifer’s silver tongue, “Because, Dean, there are several people that will be coming to hell that you might want to see.” That stops Dean’s laughing.

"What?" 

Lucifer’s lip curls slightly, “Well, there are two options here, Dean. I allow you to forget all of this conversation and you start reliving your life here over and over and over again until you get it right,” The curl at his lips turns into a grotesque smile, “which I doubt due to your mistakes in your life.” Dean opens his mouth to talk but Lucifer raises a finger in warning and Dean shuts up, “Or, you live here as a carnie until you are aware of Sam’s whereabouts and then you can leave, effectively erasing every memory you have made in your time here.” 

That’s called the kill shot, when you threaten and convince your prey into submission. It makes Castiel feel dirty in all honesty, like he made some horrible deal, but Dean seems to make a decision, then, “I have a counter offer.” Lucifer’s eyebrow’s raise to his hair line, but he moves his hand in a motion for Dean to continue, “I stay here, forever, with all my memories, but if Sam shows up I’m allowed to share all the information I know with him.” 

Castiel watches as Lucifer deliberates; it was a mistake for Dean to say these things. Sam might not even  _come_ to the carnival, but he’s so willing to give it all away for a possibility. Castiel opens his mouth to say something but feels his vocals close off, and he’s unable to speak. Oh god, what has he done? 

* * *

Lucifer feels the same excitement he did when Eve was about to take the apple; his blood pumps and his grace flutters. This is what he lives for, the kill. “Mhmmm…” he starts, tapping at his chin to make it look like he’s actually considering not taking it, “This sounds all good to me, Dean, except…” 

"Except, what?" Dean’s face shows a sign of panic, it’s almost pathetic to see how much an older brother would do anything for their younger sibling. But then again, Lucifer is doing this all for Castiel, so he can understand. 

"Except you would have to go through the carnie process." Lucifer moves his hand ever so slightly to make sure Castiel cannot make any movements to signal Dean to not take the deal. This was not their plan, Lucifer is aware of this, but he will take as much as he can. 

"Deal." Dean doesn’t even waste a second, he just takes the plunge hopelessly for his precious Sammy. Pathetic. 

Allowing the smile to finally cross his lips, Lucifer holds out his hand. There are some sores he misses on the outside of his hand, but Dean doesn’t even care; he clasps hands with the Devil and shakes on it. 

"Welcome to my carnival, Dean Winchester, I hope you enjoy yourself." Lucifer knows he will, and with that he allows Castiel to speak, for him to move, and the first thing Castiel does is march right out of the room, childishly pushing over the coat stand on his way out.

"What’s his problem?" Dean asks, letting go of Lucifer’s hand the moment the shake was over, subconsciously rubbing his hand over his jeans as if Lucifer was something disgusting or slimy.

Lucifer doesn’t even bother hiding his cat-who-ate-the-canary-smile as he leans back in his seat, steepling his fingers as he speaks, “Well, you did just make a deal with the Devil.” 

Dean’s out the door within five seconds, presumably to find Castiel. Instead of caring, Lucifer simply snaps his fingers, fixing the little mess Castiel left in his wake before turning to the paper of marked souls. 

Looking over the list he finds the ‘W’s and lets his smile grow into a grin. Under the ‘W’s, in his own handwriting, is the one name that holds the whole balance of this deal.

_ Samuel M. Winchester                                                                                                       _

Lucifer does love holding all the cards in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)]


	6. Whiplash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

Dean's out of Lucifer's office in a flash, his green eyes searching for the one person he knows here, Castiel. He finds him easily enough, stalking towards a different part of the carnival that says 'employees only' in front of it. Dean ignores this rule and his discrepancy is mysteriously ignored, which would be extremely disconcerting if it wasn't for the fact he was running after Castiel. 

He catches up to Castiel when the fallen angel is making a turn and Dean grabs onto his shoulder, "Hey Cas wait up!"

The angel turns around in and punches him in the face in one smooth motion, sending Dean reeling backwards to stem the flow of blood. "What the fuck dude?!" He yells, his voice muffled by his hand. 

Castiel's face is filled with a calm sort of rage, the rage that almost looks passive but can lash out at any moment, like a jungle cat in high grass. "You are an idiot Dean Winchester." He growls, the tone of his voice murderous. 

Dean removes his hand from the bleeding nose and makes a small shocked sound, "Whoa, wait up you wanted me to take that deal!" 

Ok, so maybe that wasn't exactly true, Dean hadn't really been paying too much attention to Castiel's mannerisms as Dean signed his soul away but still!  

The cold stare that came after Dean stated this was pretty potent, "Not like that."

"Well than  _how_?" This was ridiculous, Dean was fighting with someone he just met. 

The porcelain angel throws up his hands, "Some how convince my brother to not put you through the carnie initiation?" 

It was obvious Castiel was upset by this but something else struck Dean as interesting, more interesting anyway. 

"Wait." He starts, pointing at Castiel before pointing at himself, "You're telling me that you don't mind me sticking myself here for all eternity but you're upset that I have to go through this 'initiation'?"

Silence from Castiel, well shit.

"That's exactly it isn't it? You're trying to be all pissy about the one small thing you didn't expect to cover up the fact you're happy I'm here." This time Dean was able to dodge the well aimed punch Castiel sent towards his face. 

Dean laughs cruelly now, finding this all childish. "God, that's exactly it." 

Castiel hisses at the name of god, despite the fact it's just an expression. "Don't say that." He warns, his eyes leaving Dean's face for the first time to scan the area around them. 

Snorting, Dean looked around before rolling his eyes. "Oh come on I can't get in trouble for saying that."

Another voice speaks up at this time, a female. "Actually you can, pretty boy." 

Turning around Dean came face to face (or rather chest to face) with a smaller woman. She had dark curled hair that cascaded down her shoulders. There was a smirk on her beautifully formed face, something a little too cocky for someone who just walked in on their conversation.

"Meg." Castiel greeted with a cool nod, his emotions still obviously there but trying to be contained. 

"Cassie-poo." She welcomes, her eyes never moving from Dean's face. "Who's this little beast?" 

Dean opens his mouth to argue but Castiel speaks first, his voice clipped. "None of your business Meg."

The woman, apparently Meg, snorted in amusement, now racking her eyes down Dean suggestively. "Don't like Cassie, you know everyone is my business." She's making Dean feel uncomfortable and Dean's not even sure why, "Is this the attendee that was taken off the list?"

"He's not off the list." Castiel's voice is hard now, like a sword edge and Dean's glad he's not looking towards Castiel. 

Meg takes it in stride though, fixing her corset a little along with the odd wire skirt she was wearing. "You're right. But he's got these little golden stars next to his name and I'm just dying to know what they mean."

Castiel moves from behind Dean into his peripheral vision, standing next to him and making him feel strangely better. "You will be informed when you need to." He growled, his voice powerful and threatening. 

Meg's smirk turned into something twisted and teasing as she faced Castiel, purposely looking coy as she continued. "Oh Cassie-Poo, you know I like it when you get all controlling like that."

"Go Meg."

Sighing dramatically Meg slumped her shoulders in defeat, "Fine." Giving Dean another (rather uncomfortable) once over Meg sends him a wink, "See you later cowboy." And she danced away, disappearing behind the nearby tents as quickly as she had appeared.

Dean didn't look at Castiel and Cas mimicked this. They stayed silent as they turned and started towards the edge of camp. It wasn't until the two stopped that they spoke again."

"This is your tent." Castiel motions towards the tent they stopped in front of. It's not the best, it's lost a lot of it's vibrance over the years, the stripes running over the hard fabric nearly completely gone. Dean takes it however, he doesn't know how else he would sleep, because sleeping out in the open here, in Hell, just sounds like a horrible idea.

So, with a nods he starts into the tent before turning his head slightly to look at Castiel. "How will I know when it's time to wake up?"

Castiel's face, which had gradually lost all emotion ever since Meg showed up was stone cold. His eyes were not however, they were guarded but Dean could see the need to help. Maybe the only reason Dean was aware of this hidden undertone was because he carried the same look often. Castiel looks up at the sky briefly before turning his controlled features back to Dean, "You will know." He says simply, staring at Dean until Dean feels uncomfortable, like Castiel is reading his soul or some shit. 

Seemingly sending Dean's discomfort Castiel breaks eye contact, turning towards a different path Dean hadn't seen before. "Good night Winchester." He calls over his shoulder as he disappears into the darkness that has surrounded the already dark carnival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Wick Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75533419395/queen-of-the-painted-princesses)]


	7. Distracting Events in a Carnie Mess Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

When Dean wakes it isn’t because he slept well, it’s because there is loud voices just far enough away for him not to understand but close enough to wake him. Sighing, Dean knows he can’t go back to sleep and therefore makes a move to wake up.

The tent, being newly occupied, is nearly empty. There’s a small portable hanger for clothing, the uncomfortable cot Dean slept on last night, a low hanging light and a worn bare rug. There’s also the pile of clothing Dean had left the night before when he had shed everything but his boxers, he usually spelt naked but in a place like this you need at least a little protection. And besides, the morning had a chill to it, not that the boxers helped much.

Dressing himself Dean noticed something new, something that wasn’t there when he closed his eyes the night before. The portable hanger had been bare the night before but now it had some articles of clothing hanging from it. After slipping on his socks and jeans Dean padded his way over to investigate.

It wasn’t anything extravagant, nothing too impressive, all that hung there was a fairly new red leather jacket, new jeans and a black high V neck. Realizing that his old shirt was already two days dirty he picked the V neck to wear today. He had his other leather jacket and there was no way he was taking off his pants just to put another pair on.

The shirt fit perfectly, creepily so, and even smelt of his Mom’s detergent. He pushed these thoughts from his mind when he noticed a small paper hanging out of the leather jacket pocket that still hung there. Reaching out he grabbed the parchment, unfolding it and then glancing at the fairly elegant script.

                  Since you’re going to be here for awhile. _-P. Doll_

Dean’s face broke out into a huge grin, not necessarily because it was Cas that dropped off the clothing (definitely not that), but because he had signed it  _P. Doll_. It sounded like a horrible rapper name and the more Dean thought of it the more the grin turned into a deep chuckle in his throat. Could this count as black mail? Dean was pretty sure.

Pocketing the note Dean grabbed his boots and started towards the cot, sitting down to properly tie them, there was no need to embarrass himself by tripping over his own feet thank you very much. Once that task was completed he stood, smoothing his hair out he started towards the door. He needed to know who he could blame for waking him up at this ungodly hour. Haha.

Stepping out of his tent the cold air hit his face. It wasn’t winter cold, it was more like those mornings in fall right before the frost shows up. Quickly reaching back into his tent he pulled out his favorite leather jacket and shrugged the thing on. Now properly clothed he started towards the noise, his breath coming out in short little puffs of smoke.

It doesn’t take long for Dean to find out what the noise is. As it appears the tents around his own are owned by other carnies and the larger tent he passed the night before is the mess hall. There isn’t a lot of carnies in there, there’s the woman named Meg, an older, posh looking man who Dean’s pretty sure he’s going to hate, a blonde guy who Meg is talking, and two females who sat at the same table as Meg and Blondie.

Standing awkwardly at the entrance draws a lot of attention to one’s self, Dean realizes when all the conversations die.

"Who’s this?" The Blondie speaks up, separating himself from Meg a little as if he’s going to stand up. Meg smirks at that and shrugs, picking up a hash brown.

"The new guy." She speaks with disinterest this time, which strikes Dean as weird since yesterday she had seemed to be intrigued.

The posh looking man rolls his eyes at her comment and turns his face to Dean, “What’s your name newbie?”

Dean grits his teeth, just the man’s British accent makes him want to punch something. So, in some form of rebellion he starts towards the coffee machine, “None of our business.”

Dean can hear a laugh, presumably from the Blondie and he finds out he’s correct when he turns around. “Lovely.” He nearly sings as he sips whatever is in his cup, something that’s too light for coffee, possibly tea. Oh god another British asshole. “Seems like Cassie knows how to pick the assholes.” He’s so cavalier about this Dean’s decaffeinated brain almost doesn’t pick it up, but he does.

"Excuse me?" He states, keeping his cool by taking a sip of his coffee, surprisingly it’s well made.

Blondie sneers, a dangerous twinkle in his eye. “Cassie doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to giving us carnies.”

Meg makes a face and sends Blondie a look, “He was my performer for my last run.”

Blondie grins cheekily at Meg, sending her a wink, “Exactly, he picks assholes.” As if to back up this statement Meg pushes Blondie off his chair, making the two girls at their table laugh.

Feeling extremely like this is some fucked up hell version of a camp counselors break room, Dean turns his attention to the food options. There’s a reasonable amount, eggs, bacon, sausage, bagels, etc. He’s actually kinda impressed, for all that biblical hate on Hell they keep it well stocked.

Sticking a piece of toast in his mouth and filings up a plate he walks over to an empty table, facing all the other carnies. None of them really mention it, Meg and Blondie are too busy sending banter back and forth and the posh git seems to be busy with glaring at hash browns.

He makes it through half his eggs and all of his bacon before the attention his brought back to him. Once again it’s Blondie who speaks, “No seriously mate what’s your name.” It comes so randomly that Dean doesn’t respond to it at first, figuring it’s directed towards someone else, but sure enough he feels a couple pairs of eyes on him and he has to look up.

Pretty much everyone is eyeing him up now and it’s really not what he wants this early in the morning, or whatever time it is. Stuffing another piece of eggs into his mouth he decides it couldn’t hurt, so swallowing the food he takes a quick drink of his coffee before speaking. “Dean.” It’s all he says but the smile in Blondie’s face makes him feel like he just gave away his social security number.

"Pleasure Dean." He chuckles, reclining back into the folding chair. "I’m Balthazar, the Magician." He then starts to point out the other carnies, "Meg but commonly called Wick." Meg sends him a disconcerting grin and Balthazar doesn’t stop. "This is Casey and Cecily, two of the three Woe Maidens." The two girls who had laughed before send him synced smiles, even more freaky. Balthazar than points to the other carnie at his lone table, "And that’s Crowley, the Major we call him."

Crowley raises an eyebrow towards Dean, an unamused look on his face as he speaks next, “I’m the one that adds that little special something to your performances.”

While Balthazar had introduced everyone there was one small thing that nagged at the back of his brain and Crowley’s speech had solidified this question, “What do you mean ‘performances’?”

Apparently that was the wrong question to ask, because everyone looks so shocked Dean could have just birthed a baby.

"Did Doll not even tell you?" Casey speaks up for the first time, her voice reminding Dean of whiskey and late night foundlings in the back of cars.

Remembering the night before with Castiel fucking up his nose (which had at sometime healed on the walk to the tent) Dean suddenly became bitter and spit out, “He hasn’t told me jack shit.”

Everyone cringed and at first he thought it had been at his words but now that he notices where they are looking… Turning around Dean notices Castiel, standing there with  _fucking wings_  coming out of his back and his hair a complete wreck. Dean doesn’t know if he should be in awe or just a tad bit turned on because Castiel is wearing practically nothing but a pair of sweats and a loose hoodie with holes in the back for his wings.

"What a lovely way to start the morning." He grumbled out, his eyes half closed as he shuffles towards the coffee maker in, no joke, pink slippers.

Meg’s the first one to speak up as Castiel watches the hot liquid pour into a cup, “Doll, why haven’t you told him about the performances?”

Castiel’s massive black wings twitch, the feathers looking slightly rumbled and agitated. “Because.” He starts before walking over to Dean’s table and plopping down with less grace than a bolder down mountain, “he’s not ready to perform.”

Dean would have fought Castiel on this on any other day, in any other situation, but he was distracted now by those fucking wings. They were raven black for the most part but some of the hidden feathers had a brown tint to them, much like Castiel’s hair when Dean thinks about it. Each wing is big enough to completely cover a fold out lunch table and they’re just inches away from Dean. They’re beautiful, there is no doubt about that, but they look slightly I cared for.

Back in the day, in high school, Dean had a friend named Layla who had a bird named Faith. Faith was a good bird of paradise, she knew a couple words and would even great Dean when he came over to study for their algebra exams. But one week, when Layla went to a hospital for some tests, Dean had to take care of Faith. At first it was fine but by the time Layla got back Faith’s wings were a little messed up in certain areas, not because Dean had hurt her but because the bird was too old to reach the dead feathers.

That’s what Castiel’s wings reminded Dean off, they weren’t as well groomed as they should be and it  _bothered_  Dean. These wings were obviously more important than those of a 29 year old bird.

As if going off the same wave length as Dean Balthazar spoke up, but for different reasons, his voice much more careful with Castiel than it had been with Dean. “Cassie, why are your wings out?”

Castiel paused with the cup of coffee half way to his lips, a completely scathing look being sent towards Balthazar before he spoke. “They’re not feeling right today.” He growls out, the tone sounding very ‘end of discussion’.

It seemed like that was the death of the conversation, Dean turned his attention back to his food and Castiel downed the rest of his coffee while the others talked but then… “Why don’t you get your oh-so-great brother to help you?” It’s Crowley that speaks and the whole mess hall goes dead silent, all watching Castiel.

Dean thought he saw Castiel mad last night but fuck he was wrong. When Castiel looked up from his empty cup of coffee and towards Crowley Dean was pretty sure he was going to kill him. Right then and there, with just his eyes.

Crowley seems to realize it was a mistake then to say that, but having a reasonable amount of sense kept his mouth shut this time. Castiel, however, spoke up now “Are you implying something?” Crowley shook his head, reasonably fearful to speak and Castiel continued, “We’ll than it seems like it would be in your best interests to keep your mouth shut.”

He stands up now and Crowley shrinks back, waiting for the hit that never comes for Castiel makes his way back to the coffee machine for another cup as he adds as a side note, “Because it is my brother that keeps you safe from all those souls that are begging to rip you limb from limb Fergus.”

Once Castiel’s cup is filled once more he joins Dean again at the table, but this time the whole room is stuck in an uncomfortable silence. Even Meg and Balthazar don’t talk and Dean’s pretty sure at this point his eggs have gone cold and he’s not going to eat cold eggs. That’s like snot.

So instead Dean just sits there, watching as Castiel slowly wakes up with every sip at his coffee and Casey and Cicely share all knowing looks with Meg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Wick Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75533419395/queen-of-the-painted-princesses)] [[Magician Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/76063879700/selling-to-the-highest-bidder)] [[The Major Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/76262282587/a-musician-with-a-twist-profession-bandleader)] [[Woe Maidens Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75639952353/cunning-devious-little-princesses)] 


	8. Careless Questioning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

When Dean’s ready to leave the iciness in the air has almost disappeared, what with Gabriel (The Twin) and Benny (Hobo Clown) appearing.

Those two had joined Dean and Castiel with no hesitation and they became the light of the mess tent. Gabriel was a little harder to get along with than Benny in Dean’s opinion. He’s cocky and crude but at least he’s funny and gets some of Dean’s references. Benny, on the other hand, connects with Dean right away. He’s obviously from the south, judging by his accent and he’s very perspective.

They have a good time, the three of them as Castiel doesn’t really contribute, apparently content to just listen. It’s when the conversation dies that Castiel stands up, nodding towards Gabriel in some sort of code. Dean lasts up until Castiel’s out of view before standing up, “I … Ah… Got to take care of something.”

Benny cocks an eyebrow and Gabriel is looking a little too smug for comfort but they say their goodbyes without any jabs at Dean so that can be counted as a plus.

Exiting the tent Dean sees Castiel standing by the crossroads of paths, inspecting his wings. Out of the warm light of the tent and into the odd florescence of the open air Dean sees things he had missed before, like how some of the feathers seemed to be crinkled in unsaveable ways, or how there were patches missing where flight feathers should be. It hurt Dean, physically disturbed him that such a beautiful feature was broken. Maybe it’s the pity rolling off Dean that makes Castiel turn around, or maybe it’s just the fact Dean’s staring him down, but Castiel does turn around, a carefully controlled look on his face.

“Yes Dean?”

Deciding there is no reason to stay five feet away at all times Dean walks closer. Castiel moves his wings to allow Dean to step closer and he cocks his head slightly to the side, his eyes showing a curiosity.

“What happened to your wings?” It’s the first thing Dean asks and he knows he shouldn’t have but it kind of just tumbled out. For Castiel’s credit he looked like he expected it, his wings flapped slightly, kicking up some of the loose dirt surrounding them. 

“It’s rather personal.”

Dean gets that, he does. If anyone saw the bullet hole placed over his heart he’s most likely avoid the question at all costs. But then Castiel throws a curve ball Dean wasn’t expecting. “It’s one of the many side effects from my fall.”

It comes out so randomly that it takes Dean a moment to process it but when he does he can’t help but do a double take at the dark feathers. “Shit.” He murmurs, resisting the urge to touch the seared edges.

Castiel lets out a dark chuckle and starts to walk, making Dean follow him. “That’s one way to put it.” He mused with little humor, his wings moving closer to his back as if to protect him.

They walk in silence for awhile, they walk past Dean’s tent and down the path Castiel had traversed last night before anyone speaks up. Of course it’s Dean, he can’t help but ask, “Do you ever clean them?”

Apparently that was the wrong question to ask, Castiel’s face turns dark and he casts his eyes to the ground. “Only where I can reach.”

That took Dean for another loop and he blinked, watching as the large wings seemed to shake slightly and curl closer to Castiel. “Well… Can’t someone help you?”

Strike three Winchester, strike-fucking-three. Castiel stopped dead in his tracks, his head whipping towards Dean, the embarrassment, shame, whatever it was before disappearing and is replaced by pure astonishment. “ _Excuse me?_ ” His wings flare now, casting an ungodly shadow across the ground and covering the light from Dean’s face. “You have little right to even suggest such a thing Dean Winchester.” He’s furious, like Dean had blatantly insulted Castiel’s— shit.

It came to him like a thunder strike, a long time ago Dean had read a story involving gorillas. It had been for a dumb science project but Dean had enjoyed it, mainly because of the central sense of community between the band but also because of their grooming. It was something that had struck Dean as interesting, how bonds were formed that way, how one would establish a certain bond by how they cleaned.

Thinking back on this research Dean realized he had just given Castiel a great insult, Dean wasn’t even an official carnie, he hasn’t even known Castiel for a day and he had essentially offered this up to Castiel if it was nothing.

Dean opens his mouth to speak but Castiel’s still fuming, at least his wings have eased off. “My own brother is forbidden to touch my wings and you believe that you can? Do you think of me as a fool?”

Ok, Dean didn’t know  _that_ but he kept his movements slow and his voice gentle, like calming down a giant cat. “I didn’t realize-… I didn’t mean anything by it.”

It wasn’t exactly an apology because Dean  _hadn’t_ known but it was enough for Castiel’s wings to relax and collect themselves against his back once again.

They didn’t move from their spot for several minutes, they kind of just stare at each other. It feels a bit surreal to be staring at an angel with broken wings and to have him stare back. Dean’s nothing compared to Castiel, he’s just a middle class Kansas kid who died to protect his brother. He didn’t fall from Heaven like Castiel had, no, he fell to Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)] [[Hobo Clown Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75850083480/with-a-little-bit-of-fangs-and-fun)]
> 
> It should be added that a lot of the wing ideas I get are from the amazingly beautiful fic called ['The Wings Were in The Way'](http://gedry.livejournal.com/149961.html) by Gedry. If you haven't read it I highly suggest it. It's one of the two fics I read whenever I'm down. 


	9. Colorless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

Hell's always been colorless for Castiel. Every grey scale attendee he's made into a carnie still remains ashy for him. But when Dean Winchester showed up Castiel could find color appearing, something to hope for. It was a childish hope, one that could never happen, not with Castiel's ugly anger and selfishness. 

Nevertheless, Castiel enjoyed those moments where he could get lost in Dean's eyes, there was nothing quite as beautiful as those eyes. Maybe that's why he only made a move to leave when he heard the very distinct voices of Gabriel and Meg, who had grown to be close —if not best—friends. Knowing there would be serious teasing if Castiel didn't make a move to leave he finally ripped his eyes away from the deep green eyes and cleared his throat.

Dean, snapping out of whatever other world he was in, blushed and cleared his own throat. Castiel could stare at those flushed cheeks all day, if he had the chance, but he didn't. Nodding his head towards his own tent Castiel spoke up, "Walk with me?" 

It appeared the green eyed human didn't need to be told twice and they started their silent walk. It was a comfort to have Dean next to him, but it was also a curse because Castiel wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to tell him how later in the day all those people in the tent would be torturing him to some extent, he wanted to warn him not to change because of it, but Hell did that to the best people so Casiel kept his mouth shut. 

There was a nice lull as they walked from where the normal carnies slept towards Castiel's tent. When the carnival had first been formed Castiel had live with Lucifer, too young to stay by himself. As he and the carnival grew slowly became more jaded and wanted to be left in his solitude to sulk, which Lucifer heeded by giving Castiel the farthest tent from the carnival.

The carnival it's self seemed to cut off into emptiness, into pure black shadow but Castiel knew the truth, a truth only he and Lucifer knew. If you walked far enough, if somehow Lucifer allowed you to walk that far, you would run into the truth of hell, the place where the demons lived. It was a hushed secret that those who didn't make the cut to be a carnie and didn't make it to heaven went there. The first example was when Hitler showed. Castiel had his fun with Hitler and so did Lucifer but the moment he became repetitive retro made the executive decision to send him /there/ where the hell fire lived. They called it the Cage, because once you were in you could never leave. 

But no one ever walked that far, an so the carnival was surrounded by ghost trees and mountains for those Lucifer did not allow to walk any farther. You would walk into the darkness and feel like you're walking through a large forest in the dead of night until you found yourself back at the carnival. Always back at the carnival. 

This is where Castiel's tent resided, right before the trees and the endless darkness. His tent always smelt vaguely of pine trees and damp leaves, a smell Castiel had grown attached to as a baby-angel. The smell of fresh rain water was his favorite but hell didn't supply that particular scent so he would take what he could get. 

They were half way to Castiel's tent when Dean spoke up, his voice slightly hoarse from disuse. "Where are we going?"

Castiel's steps faltered slightly as he turned his eye upon the attendee, "My tent."

Maybe it was the lighting, or maybe it was Castiel's angelic eyes but he was pretty sure Dean's ears turned a little pink upon hearing this. 

"Oh..." A moment pause from Dean, "why?" 

Castiel smiled despite himself, at least Dean had the intelligence to ask questions. Some attendees never asked questions, or asked them in the wrong manner for that matter, but Dean? He normally asked questions at the right time or asked questions that were completely inappropriate, there was no middle ground with him and Castiel liked it for some odd reason. "I need to change before we can start your first official day." Castiel's smile wavered at that, remembering what task was at hand.

Dean nodded slowly at this new information, soaking it in and digesting it before speaking up again. "So what? Are you going to... perform?" He was obviously trying to get information out of Castiel as to what was going to happen today and Castiel let him, there was no reason why he shouldn't, he would eventually become a carnie just like Castiel.

"Not right away." Castiel answered, figuring out how to explain it and deciding lying wasn't the best option. "Lucifer called me back in last night to tell me I could not 'interfere' with your... 'initiation' until he deemed you ready." 

This wasn't a laughing matter so when Dean sent Castiel a lopsided grin after that sentence he was all but confused. Luckily for him Dean seemed to see his confusion and raised his hands, mimicking the same thing Castiel had just subconsciously done, "Dude, really? 'Air quotes'? What are you? Five?" 

Castiel didn't even know what air quotes were, but he didn't exactly care, not with Dean's chuckling warming him from his toes up and his smile acting as Castiel's own little private sun. It was then, not even when their soul and grace touched before, that Castiel decided he was really going to try and save this poor man, a man who shouldn't have been damned to Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	10. All Dressed Up and Somewhere to Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

There was something different about Castiel, Dean couldn't quite put a finger on it but it was there. It was like when someone gets a hair cut or gets a new habit you weren't aware of, it nags at your brain and you just can't quite figure it out. 

It bothers Dean until they walk to where the tents start to thin out and then it hits him. Castiel had actually smiled, not one of those slight smiles he usually gave but a full on, eye crinkling smile. Dean had only barely noticed it at the time, and now the moment was passed and Castiel's face had returned to his normal clean slate expression. 

Feeling disappointed in himself Dean's shoulders slumped, a motion noticed by Castiel but left unquestioned. 

Dean allowed his mind to wander as they walked and as it did questions from before flitted in and out. What was going to happen? What were performances exactly? How long did he have to be kept in the dark?

Through all the questions there seemed to be one safe one, one he than voiced aloud, "Hey Cas?" Castiel hummed in acknowledgement so Dean continued, "Why did you give me those clothes?"

If only the lighting was a little better, Dean was pretty sure Castiel's ears turned a little pink. What a fucking adorable dork.  

"I..." Castiel started, raising a hand to rub at the back of his neck, his eyes going everywhere but Dean, "I figured you could use some. In hell you end up collecting a large amount of clothing." He shrugged it off until Dean gave him an inquisitive look, "Because unless you're an angel you have to wait for a slow day to do your laundry. And there aren't washing machines here."

Dean laughed, whether it was because of how embarrassed Castiel was acting or the fact that this man was a mystery. He knew what machines they used on earth but he didn't understand how air quotes weren't exactly a social norm. Sean's laughing seemed to pull another smile out of Castiel, nothing like before but still, it was warm and his eyes seemed to brighten. 

Dean was about to ask another question when he got distracted by his surroundings. They were at the edge of the carnival now and in front of them was a tent about two times as large as his own. The fabric was the same worn color but... and Dean isn't making this up, there was actual grass around the tent outskirts, something Dean didn't know he had missed until he saw it again.

"How come you get grass?" He grumbles, taking the intuitive to walk over and plop himself down, running his fingers through the green blades, 

There's a deep chuckle from Castiel and he walks over, standing over Dean as the end of one wing runs through an empty patch. "It reacts to my grace."

It sounded so simple, so casual that Dean snorts, pausing his fingers to look up at Castiel, "What else reacts to your grace?" Ok, he didn't mean to make that sound like a pass, but their eyes connected just at the right time and a certain electricity went through it and now Dean's body was feeling rather warm and tingly. 

Castiel didn't really seem to be effected by the question, of course he could just be playing it off but it truly didn't seem to phase him except for the gentle pink coloring his cheeks. "If I gave you a list we'd be here all day." 

Dean could just imagine what would react to Castiel's grace and the thought made his face even warmer. God damnit, he was a fucking 29 year old man and he was blushing like a 12 year old school girl. 

As if to save Dean's pride Castiel sent him a sheepish smile, "I'm going to change... I'll ah be right out." Dean didn't even have time to reply before Castiel had disappeared behind his tent curtain. 

With Castiel gone Dean had a chance to calm himself down, which basically involved Dean staring down at the grace as he heard movement and gentle humming from inside the tent. The humming wasn't helping, it was deep, throaty, baritone and extremely suggestive to Dean's ears. 

Luckily he didn't have to listen for long because the tent flap opened soon after, the humming stopping and Castiel walking out in possibly one of the most sinful outfits Dean had ever seen. 

Dean didn't know what did it for him, if it was the tight leather jeans that perfectly showcased not only Castiel's package but also his ass, or maybe it was the curb stomping boots he wore, all ripped and obviously well loved. Maybe it wasn't even that, maybe it was the extremely cut up band shirt Castiel wore, revealing the majority of his sides and the top part of his chest, all covered in minute cracks like his face and flashing some black ink as well, not enough for Dean to make it out but enough for Dean to know it was there. But maybe it wasn't any of that, maybe it was the way he twirled his blue tail coat on, flourishing it like the giant wings that had now disappeared into some place Dean couldn't see. It was beautiful, he was beautiful. 

Dean wasn't sure how long he stared, because there was no doubt in his mind that was staring, racking his eyes over Castiel's change of wardrobe so many times he's surprised (and slightly disappointed) they didn't fray and fall off. It's Castiel that speaks up, making Dean's eyes move up from their nearly permanent placement on Castiel's endowment. 

When he finally does look up he licks his lips subconsciously, watching as Castiel's face darkens with something Dean knows a little too well. At least he's not the only one, "Ready to get going?" 

Dean wants to say no, he wants to say he wants to rip those silly, over sexual articles of clothing off his body and try to eat him up. But he doesn't, Dean's never been with a man, never even thought about it until high school and definitely never wanted it like this... ever. So he nods, looking down for the first time before swinging himself up, painfully aware of the little action that's forming in his pants. It probably won't go away until Castiel is clear out of sight and mind, which doesn't seem to be anytime soon.

He makes it onto his feet with no problem, skillfully moves his leg in a certain way that allows him to kind of hide what's going on down there and looks back over at Castiel. Dean doesn't speak, he just nods his head to signal they can leave and they start on their way. 

Dean doesn't know where they're going or what they're even going to do and to be honest? He doesn't give a flying fuck, not with this porcelain angel walking next to him, distracting him with every minute movement he makes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	11. Before the Curtain Rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut lovelies~
> 
> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

Castiel has a couple flings here and there over the last couple years but none of them compare to the electricity that is coursing between himself and Dean.  _Nothing_. Castiel can ear every breath he takes, every beat of his elevated heart beat, he can feel the heat and he just wants to be surrounded by it. His grace aches for the bodily contact but he can't. He can't touch Dean because Dean deserves a better lover than what Castiel can offer. He deserves to have heaven and hell bow both before him, he deserves soft kisses and a warm fire, he deserves laughter and slicked fingers as rain pours down on closed windows. He deserves someone who isn't cracked and broken like Castiel. 

Castiel knows all this, but he knows it's unobtainable now for Dean, he sold his soul to the devil and now he could never have these things. He could never taste the bitter sweet taste of things Castiel himself had never had, only hear about it in whispered stories of others' exploits. So the doubt gets placed on the back burner, for if Castiel can't have it and Dean can't either why shouldn't they try something else together? Where was the sin in that?

It's about one third of the way to the tent they need to get to when Dean breaks the sexually charged silence, "So why are you wearing that anyway?"

Castiel doesn't miss the croaky tone of Dean's voice, he doesn't miss how Dean's eyes do another once over of his body, he doesn't miss how Dean's eyes flicker from his own to Castiel's lips, his pink tongue sliding out to wet is lips.

Castiel knows he's about five seconds from jumping Dean and needs to cool himself down. So (and at the time it sounded like a good plan) he states something he believes Dean would never reply too, "It's my performance outfit, I rarely wear it but when I do it's mainly because I'm the main act." He shrugs, going in for the kill, "It's supposed to attract people I suppose, Balthazar said it looked 'sexy'."

It was almost like he could see the inter battle waging inside of Dean's brain, the brain cells fighting for dominance over another, trying to squelch the stupid ideas and replace them with better ones. Dean almost made it too, but he didn't and his brain fired in the most automatic reaction, "You need clothes to help with that?"

It was stupid, it was witty and a comeback of sorts but it was that deciding factor. Castiel didn't even think as he grabbed into the warm hand and nearly swung Dean into the nearest tent. 

He expected Dean to falter here, to pull away in both body and soul. But he didn't, if anything the soul Castiel could see shined brighter. Castiel didn't even try to kid himself on that one, there was no reason for it to otherwise happen and it caused Castiel's own heart to speed up.

As soon as they both crossed the canvas curtain Castiel began to drag Dean towards the empty stands. This tent was often inactive, only used for when Gabriel was actually putting on a show, a rare event. Therefore Castiel knew it would be safe, well as close to safe as they could possibly get. 

Castiel placed Dean down on the end of the stands, at a proper height and he watched as Dean's brain caught up was the actions. The wheels were still turning and Castiel didn't have time. He didn't have enough time to explain this, why he would so freely give this away to a man who he had just met. He didn't have to explain how his grace craved Dean, how somehow a piece of his grace had connected with Dean's soul an they were both emotionally fucked because of it.!but then again, they probably always had been. 

Moving his slender fingers over Dean's jeans and feeling the heat of the covered flesh Castiel's hands moved up closer to where they wished to go. It was when his fingers flicked the button open Dean finally spoke up, "Whoa Cas what are you doing?" It wasn't aggressive, if anything it was just dazed, lost between reality and some sort of fantasy. 

Despite his nervousness Castiel smirked, covering up the fact he hadn't done this really... ever. He knew things from books, from passing souls, from people doing it  _to him_  but giving it? He was just winging it. "Is that a no Dean?" It's a serious question, this might be Hell but there are strict rules, and Lucifer would personally smite anyone who broke it, even his little brother. 

Green eyes watched Castiel's fingers as they toyed with the top button, as the back of Castiel'a index finger skimmed the sliver warm skin he had revealed. With a deep intake of breath Dean shook his head, his eyes meeting Castiel's, pupils growing larger by the moment. "Fuck no."

That was all Castiel needed and the pants were pulled down to Dean's ankles in one fluid motion. Dean's legs were bowed, Castiel had noticed it the Dean had started towards him but that didn't mean they weren't beautiful, because every part of Dean was, even if they weren't covered in freckles. Running his palms over the warm skin he watched Dean give an involuntary shiver. It was hard to pace himself, but Castiel managed it, he managed by placing his mouth against Dean's thigh and giving him warm kisses, making Dean quiver slightly and reach out to hold into the wooden stands. Castiel smiled against Dean's flawless skin, incapable of controlling the adrenaline that was slowly taking over his body and making it all fuzzy and warm. 

Moving his mouth closer to Dean's groin he could hear the intake of breath. He could feel Dean tense as he placed his mouth experimentally against the bulging fabric of Dean's black boxer briefs. What Castiel would give to take this slower, to pick Dean apart piece by piece, molecule by molecule for hours and watch Dean writhe under him. But Castiel couldn't and so he mouthed the hardening area, his hot exhales entangling themselves with the heat of Dean's most private parts. Sliding his fingers up to the elastic Castiel removed the final cover to his prize, unearthing the most pungent and most glorious male smell ever. Musty and earthy and strangely wild and — Castiel was losing himself, he couldn't, not with people expecting both of them to show up within the next hour. 

Taking a deep inhale of Dean's smell, Castiel licked his lips and placed the soft skin against Dean's straining cock. Castiel expected this to be awkward, and it probably would have if it was someone else, but taking Dean in completely, running his tongue against the lower section was easy, the sounds coming from Dean as he tried to steady himself a sirens call. It wasn't difficult to call these sounds out of him and Castiel picked up speed, placing one hand on Dean's inner thigh and the other on his knee, his dulled finger nails pressing half moons into the soft flesh. Dean didn't seem to mind however, not when Castiel looked up at his face and it was completely destroyed, his eyes blown and lips red and swollen from teething at them, trying to control the sound that clawed their way out of Dean's chest.

Castiel knew he was a greedy bastard, you don't live in hell without discovering that even angels have their sins, so removing with mouth with a slicked pop he glared up at Dean. "Dean Winchester." He growls, his voice several octaves lower, "If you even think about holding back I will stop right now." And ok, maybe it was a lie, Castiel would never leave something so perfect alone, but Dean didn't know that. So opening his mouth Dean started to retort, sadly he never got there, not with Castiel quickly dipping down and caressing Dean's tip with his tongue. 

Dean nearly howled, his hips bucking slightly, but with angelic strength Castiel could control it. What he couldn't control was his own want, Dean's vocal cords  _did things_  to him. But he'd have to wait, he'd probably have to wait a long time and for right now it was Dean's throbbing hard on that needed attention. 

Running his tongue completely over the length before placing it back into his lips Castiel listened to Dean's heart beat and the uncontrolled breathing. He was beautiful, Castiel would never be able to describe him as anything else, and unlike before Castiel intends to enjoy the view, his own blue eyes locking with Dean's blown pupils as Castiel's head continues to move with his mouth.

Now that Dean is no longer controlling his voice with a bitten lip words fall out like a waterfall, the majority of it being curse words or a low chanting 'Cas'. It's music to Castiel's ears and he continues, gaining speed and switching it up constantly, watch as Dean seems to loose himself more and more until—"Fuck Cas...I'm gonna... I'm gonna—!" Castiel didn't stop, he just nodded his head ever so slightly and continued, feeling the beginning of the liquid to ooze out of Dean like some godly drink. 

When Dean does come it's like a firestorm, he bucks twice and he nearly howls, stopping himself by shoving his knuckle between his teeth and scrunching his eyes tightly. Castiel sees it all, see's the explosions that happen behind his eyes before they shut, sees the body tense and release, he watches it all as he sucks Dean down, a taste on his lips he's sure he'll never exactly forget. 

"F-fuck." Dean chokes out, moving his hand to Castiel's hair and feathering his fingers through the dark strands. Castiel pulled his head back, letting Dean pop out and allowing him to move his head until their faces touched. Dean's breath was hot and shallow on Castiel's cheek as he speaks up once more, "Wh-what was that for?" He moves closer, peppering Castiel's cheek with open mouthed kisses, their stubble causing from friction. 

Castiel nosed his face into Dean's neck, ignoring the fact that he was painfully hard below. Taking a steadying breath Castiel let out a grumbling chuckle, "Just cause." It was a lie, but he didn't want to ruin this, well at least not for Dean. But for Castiel himself? It didn't matter, he would just enjoy Dean's low lidded eyes and soft touches. 

Dean doesn't ask anymore about that, instead he lets his head roll back and a deep chuckle pull from his throat. "That was awesome." His voice was lighter now, it was still wrecked but he just seemed more... relaxed and it made Castiel smile, despite his own physical discontent.

Leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Dean's revealed temple Castiel stood, the problem in his pants becoming evident to Dean. Frowning, Dean leaned closer, forgoing the fact his pants were around his ankles and reaching towards him. "What are you going to do about that?" He asks teasingly, his voice joking but his eyes never leaving the leather clad bulge. 

Castiel shrugged it off, they honestly didn't have time to satisfy both of them, despite want and need. "We don't have time." he says softly, before eyeing the pool of clothing at Dean's ankles. "You should probably take care of that." He says in a upbeat voice, trying to distract Dean from the real problem; it works as Dean chuckles and stands up, pulling the discarded fabric up and around his sensitive skin. 

It doesn't take them long to leave the tent, to step closer to Dean's act, a performance Castiel didn't want to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]


	12. Different Strokes for Different Folks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

Dean was walking on air, his body was nice and relaxed due to what had just happened. He didn't even care why it happened, if Cas said it was 'just cause' than it had to be just cause.He might have been smiling a lot as they walked but he couldn't help but notice the continuous tent in Castiel's pants. It excited him and freaked him out, he had never been with a man, at all, except for what just happened.

Did that even count? It had too. But that wasn't the point, the point was while Dean knew how to take hand jobs and blow jobs (which Castiel's was the best he'd ever had, not that he'd tell the bastard), he had no idea on how to give them. That was kind of a lie though, wasn't it?Because if Dean could squeeze one out it couldn't be that different on a different person's dick right?

Yeah, it had to be. But still, Dean wasn't sure if he was ready for the embarrassment if he did fuck up and that's why the bulge in Castiel's pants really cause mixed emotions.

Castiel must have noticed Dean's prolonged staring because with a sigh and a snap of his fingers it just...disappeared. "What the fuck?" Dean blurted out without thinking, making Castiel almost jump. 

After giving him a look Castiel spoke up, "it's a parlor trick Dean, it's still there, believe me. It's just hidden from people noticing it." He shrugged slightly, seeming a little uncomfortable. 

"So... It's basically like tucking it?" Dean had no idea why he was so interested in this, maybe it was because Castiel's endowment was still a mystery or maybe because Castiel himself was one. 

Castiel nodded, wiping his hands on his jeans, "Basically. But an angel form of it." The conversation died than, replaced but a thoughtful silence. Dean really hoped that Castiel wasn't over thinking the fact Dean was over thinking this... He probably was. 

In an effort to take his mind off of pleasuring Castiel Dean randomly blurted a question out, "So what's this act thing I have to do anyway?"

Apparently that was a bad question to ask because Castiel actually frowned, his whole face becoming clouded. "You are a special case Dean." He starts, staring straight ahead, "Becoming a carnie before you have gone through the initiation has never happened before..." He pauses, tapping a finger against his leg uselessly, "Except for me and three others. But we never had to be tested, we were just placed here as carnies, so you are still the first." He could be classed as rambling now, probably a tactic to distract Dean from whatever was to come. It made Dean nervous. 

They turned a corner and started towards the alleys Dean did recognize, they must be getting close. Ok, now he was getting actually nervous, the relaxed feeling from before completely disappearing to be replaced with tension. Castiel must have noticed this because he spoke up once again, his voice grave, "I will not lie to you Dean." He turns his head and meets Dean's eyes before continuing, "This most likely will hurt." Dean grimaces and Castiel continues, "You need to change as a person to become a carnie."

This time Dean butts in, sounding slightly indignant, "But you didn't." 

Castiel smiled a soft sympathetic smile, "I fell Dean. That's enough pain as it is."

Removing his eyes from the blue orbs that were Castiel's he glanced at the cracked skin covering sections of Castiel's skin. He remembered the destroyed feathers and Castiel's aggressiveness from before. So yeah, Castiel didn't have to go through what Dean was about to but... he had to go through something probably a hell of a lot worse and for that Dean could sympathize. Locking his jaw Dean gave a short nod, "Alright." He stated as he geared himself up for whatever was coming, "Lets kick it in the ass."

Dean missed the small amused smile that crossed Castiel's face at that, he missed the pained eyes and slump in Castiel's shoulders. What he didn't miss was Lucifer leaning up against a tent pole in front of them, smirking slightly. Castiel didn't seem to miss this either because he changed from this open person to the closed off carnie he had been before. And Dean thought those two were close, maybe they were and maybe Castiel had something to hide, Dean still had no idea.

"Took you long enough." Lucifer stated, straightening up from the pole once they neared close enough. His skin was marred much like Castiel's, the only difference was while Castiel had cracks Lucifer had abrasions and sores, making his skin in spots raw flesh. He didn't seem bothered by it as he grinned, gesturing a hand towards a tent. "If you would be so kind Winchester." 

Castiel didn't follow Dean as he walked closer to the tent. Instead he stared down his brother, and as Dean disappeared from view he heard Castiel's voice distinctly threaten, "Brother, he better come back in one piece."

"Oh he will." Lucifer replied, his voice sounding amused by the fact his brother was like this. With that as the last thing Dean heard, he turned his attention towards what was in the tent it's self. It must be the main tent, it was huge on the inside, with stands that were triple in size compared to the other tent, and three large rings on the ground. Inside each ring there was a different carnie; a little girl who was playing with a headless doll and talking out loud to no one (plain creepy), Gabriel who was staring intently at the tent opening and the last was Balthazar, shifting side to side and alternating between looking at tent flap and Gabriel. 

The rest of the carnies filled the stands. There were some people Dean had never seen before and some he had seen in passing. They all gave him a wide berth however, as if they were scared of him. 

Dean didn't have a lot of time to think on that subject however, because the moment it came to mind exactly why they might be afraid Lucifer watched into the tent, acting slightly agitated but covering it up as best as he could. He didn't stop his walk until he made it to the front of the rings, turning around he raised his palms, speaking in a commanding tone, making all carnies and Dean look up at him.

"Ladies and Gentleman!" He calls, looking over the crowd but his eyes landing on Dean for a moment longer, "Children off all ages! We are here today to do something we have never done before!" The carnies murmur to each other, some looking at each other while others glare at Dean's back. 

"As some of you know we have a new attendee with very special circumstances!" Now everyone was looking at Dean, Lucifer included as he stares down Dean, a glint in his eye. "Due to these circumstances the carnival will not be run per the norm." He pauses so that the crowd can let out the small groan everyone knew was going to happen, "That being said we're going to have some fun with this!" He claps his hands together, a wicked grin forming on his lips, "We are going to make our attendee 'pick his poison' by letting him choose which performer will act today." The crowd explodes, all full out talking or just being generally loud. 

Dean ignores all of this in favor of looking at Gabriel and Balthazar, who shared looks and grew sheepish looking. Was Dean somehow scaring them as well? He some how doubted this and thought back to what morning when Castiel had threatened Crowley. Oh no, it wasn't Dean, it was Castiel they were afraid of and understandably so. 

Lucifer drew everyone's attention back to him with a clap of his hands, his face stern for a moment before plastering a sneer back on his lips. "Of course these carnies will change nearly every day!" He continues without pause, his eyes watching the crowd carefully as he moves on, "And other side-act carnies may submit to be a choice is they come forward to me." Dean watches some of the surrounding carnies straighten up, sending Dean sideways glances which he ignored in favor to listen to Lucifer. 

"With that in mind, please welcome our attendee... Dean!" He moves his hand towards Dean and motions with his head for Dean to come forward. Dean does, without much pause, there is no reason to slow down the inevitable. He manages to get next to Lucifer with no embarrassments and Lucifer sends him an all too condescending smile. "So Dean, who do you wish to be the performer for your act?" He turns to face Dean completely and motions to the three rings, "We have the Fool," The little girl waves enthusiastically, dropping her doll in the process, "The Twin," Gabriel tips his hat towards Dean, "and The Magician." Balthazar bows slightly, a half hearted smile in his lips. 

Dean looks at them all for awhile, considering his options. There is no easy way to do any of this, he was fucked no matter what and he kind of wished Castiel was here to help him along, to tell him who the lesser evil is. But Castiel wasn't here, Lucifer probably didn't even let him come, or at least that was the hope. 

Looking from the three options Dean finally picks, turning towards Lucifer, he lets his shoulders slump and opens his mouth, "I choose..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)]


	13. Get the Ducks in a Row

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

"The Twin." Dean's voice reverberates through the tent and Gabriel's heart sinks. He would have loved to if normal Dean was a normal attendee, he would have loved to slowly rip him apart for all this easy sins. But Dean wasn't normal, Dean was owned by Castiel. Gabriel was an archangel and so he could see the mark on Dean's soul. He could see the slivers of Castiel's grave that were slowly trying to fill in the cracks of Dean's soul. Gabriel would have to chip away at that soul, at the work that Castiel's grace had worked so hard on over the last 24 hours. 

He stepped forward however, bowing and putting on his most convincing smirk he could. Lucifer knew, Balthazar knew, hell even Benny in the stands knew that Gabriel did _not_ want to do this, who would? When a hellfire, fallen angel with a crush would come on like a hurricane? 

"Congratulations Twin!" Lucifer says, his face fooling everyone but Gabriel. Lucifer might be a big bag of dicks but he knew what this whole 'torture Dean' business would entail for his relationship with Castiel. After all, Gabriel had been there last night when Castiel full out threatened his older brother, you know, the king of hell. 

Gabriel smiled as best as he could, staying silent as Lucifer spoke, "Enjoy the show and thank you for your time." Gabriel looked towards Dean and nodded towards the entrance, signaling him it was time to leave. 

Dean bobbed his head once to show he understood and they started towards exit, moving around all the carnies that were gathering around Lucifer. While the majority of the carnies didn't matter to Gabriel there was one in particular that worried Gabriel, a tall man with a long face and a gruesome face. The man who had tortured for a living. 

Finally leaving the crowds and reaching the fresh air outside Gabriel allowed his shoulders to sink, a small smile hitting his lips, maybe this wouldn't be that bad. "Alright Deano, we're going this way." He moves his head to the left, an indication of where they had to go.

Dean stayed silent but turned to walk down the alley Gabriel had pointed out. This was awkward, normally the attendees would stumble upon the performers, but to walk with one? It was weird, especially since they shared breakfast this morning. 

Luckily for Gabriel the silence only lasted about ten minutes for soon enough a hand grabbed onto his shoulder. Turning around Gabriel came face to face with a worried Balthazar, ok maybe it wasn't lucky. "What's up?" Gabriel asked, slowing his pace and therefore Dean's as well. 

Balthazar looked from Gabriel to Dean and gave him a look, one that nearly screamed 'it's private Gabe'. Acknowledging this Gabriel looked at Dean, "Listen Deano, just keep walking a straight and turn on the third right and I'll meet you there, ok?" 

Dean opened his mouth like he was about to protest but shut it, locking his jaw. "Fine." He grits out before looking away from the two carnies and walking. 

Balthazar and Gabriel wait until he's out of ear shot before turning to each other and dropping the falsehood of happiness. "What's wrong?" Gabriel asks, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets and looking at the taller angel. 

Balthazar raises his head to the sky, letting out a long sigh before facing Gabriel again, "Cassie."

"Well no shit." Gabriel rolls his eyes, he knows the littlest brother must be in a complete rage, after all he stormed off last night after the meeting. Drama queen. 

Balthazar knows Gabriel however and raises a hand to keep him silent, "He's threatening lives." Gabriel's eyebrows jump up in surprise but Balthazar continues, "Any carnie that hurts Dean will be executed, Castiel style." 

Gabriel would call Cassie a drama queen out loud but he knew the threat was true. Several years ago a carnie had gone over the line with an attendee, Castiel didn't even care about the attendee, but he had smited the carnie on the spot. The use of his grace weakened him for years but he gained the reputation as "unrelenting". 

Gabriel nodded slowly, crossing his arms now and digesting this new information to find any sort of loophole. "What did he say exactly?" Gabriel didn't want to hurt Dean but he had a job to do, a sinner must die by their particular poison. And while Castiel would try to kill Gabriel if he hurt Dean, Lucifer could actually kill him. The lesser of two evils was Castiel. 

Balthazar shrugged, giving Gabriel the look only saved for idiots, "He said 'to those who plan on hurting Dean Winchester, know that I will end anyone who harms him."

Both angels stared at each other, Gabriel's mind running a mile a minute until it all fell into place. With a sly smile on his face he reached out and patted Balthazar's shoulder, "I think I know what show I'll put on."

"Oh? And what might that be twinkle toes?" 

Grinning Gabriel ran his hand over his top hat, making it turn into a red and brown trapper hat, "Be vewy vewy quiet Bawathazwar, it's dwuck season." 

* * *

To Gabriel's surprise when he transported to his game alley Dean was still on his way. Gabriel could see his subject turning the corner, coming closer and looking confused. "What the f-?"

Gabriel grinned, Dean was fun to fuck with, he was unaware of Gabriel's true powers much like the majority of the carnival's participants. "Magic Deano." He teased, tipping his reinstated top hat towards the attendee. Dean just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, trying to portray nonchalance.  

With the minor lull in the conversation Gabriel moved to the side, flourishing a hand towards the game behind him. "I think you know how to play Deano, but still lets go over the rules." Dean rolls his eyes and shifts his feet as he puts weight on the other side, "You need to hit as many ducks as you can, the farther back the more points it is."

Dean nods but looks around, "That's great and all Gabe but what am I supposed to hit them _with?_ "

Gabriel could see why Castiel picked Dean, that sass, "Slow down crazy, slow down." Gabriel reaches under the tabletop and grabs the automatic Winchester rifle hidden here; how poetic. "Here." 

A look of alarm flashes over Dean's face but he covered it as best as he could, "Could I possibly trade that in for knives?" 

"Do you not know how to use your namesake Deano?" 

Dean gave him an indignant look and held out a hand, falling into the trap Gabriel set up. "I can fucking fire any gun you hand me." 

"Good to know Deano." Gabriel grinned, handing the rifle over with a sly smile. Clapping his hands together the machine for the movement of the ducks started, making a metallic sound as they moved. It was officially time to start the act, this would be interesting. 

It didn't take long for Dean to realize the ammunition of the rifle wasn't blanks, he stared at the gun and the hole he placed in the passing duck before finally settling his eyes on Gabriel, "what the fuck man?"

Gabriel smiled as sweetly as he could, swinging his arms slightly as he nearly sung out, "Is there a problem Dean? Not enough confidence to handle a real gun in close range?"

Scowling Dean picked the gun up once again, aiming and firing at one of the farther ducks. The boy was good, Gabriel would give him that. Placing more ammo on the counter Gabriel watches Dean squeeze out two more shots before reloading. 

It was when Dean was reloading that Gabriel changed, his features turning more defined and his height growing so that he was an exact copy of Dean.

When Dean looked up and stared into the mirrored eyes of himself he was taken aback, "Dude what the fuck?" 

Gabriel grinned sending a wink Dean's way, "Why do you think I'm The Twin mhm?"

Dean cocked an eyebrow towards Gabriel, lowering the gun slightly to give Gabriel his full attention. "So what you're supposed to show me that I'm my own worst nightmare, is that it? Huh? Kind of like the Superman III junkyard scene? A little mano y mano with myself?"

Gabriel crossed his arms, taking on Dean's personality, "Joke all you want, smart-ass but I know you."

Dean chuckled, slightly put off as he raises the gun to shoot another duck, "no you don't."

Time to bring out the big guns. With Gabriel leaning against the counter, he watched Dean's jaw tighten before sending the first hit, "Oh come on now, I know how dead you are inside. How worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror... and hate what you see."

Dean stutters in his motions, looking up at Gabriel, "That's not funny Gabriel. Knock it the fuck off."

Gabriel leans forward now, staring at Dean's face, "There's a reason your here Dean. The only other person you gave a shit about was Sam and even he let you down didn't he?"

"Shut the fuck up." Dean growls through his teeth, raising the automatic to fire at another duck, this time one that was closer. Two shots left. 

Gabriel jumps the counter now, moving so he's on Dean's side but stepping away. "You had to save his life didn't you? You're useless now, you're mindless, you're like an attack dog. You don't even have a original thought."

Dean stays his finger on the trigger, staring directly at the moving ducks and ignoring Gabriel the best be can. 

Gabriel knows he's getting towards Dean's center, the part of him that his soul shines, the need for love. "Sam was the one your dad loved, hell, your mom never loved you as much as your brother right?" Dean stayed silent, aiming and firing at a slow moving duck right in front of him. One shot left.

Gabriel's voice was like venom, spewing out the things written upon Dean's soul, in Dean's very voice. "Your own parents didn't love you Dean, how do you expect, how do you even _hope_  that someone like Castiel, a fallen angel from heaven, could love you? You are damaged, you are nothing, you're just a man who fell into hell. You think something that holy could ever love a sinful creature like you?"

"I said shut the _fuck_  up!" Dean roars and just like that the gun is pointed directly towards Gabriel's chest. The gun goes off, Gabriel doesn't feel the pain, no, Dean does. 

Gabriel switched spots with Dean during the movement of the bullet. So now it was Dean who flew back into the empty alley, his back hitting a closed game station. With that Gabriel's façade of another Dean disappears and he watches the blood pool.

It's almost instantaneous, his death, but Dean hangs on for second longer than a normal human and it's in that second Gabriel sees Castiel's grace flare like a fire to oxygen around Dean's soul, engulfing it in warmth and light. 

It takes another second for Castiel to physically show up and when he does he's raging mad, face cold as stone, wings out and flared, still in his performance outfit and looking mighty as all hell. He gives Gabriel a look, the sort of look you see on someone who's ready to spit in your face and claw out your eyes before turning to Dean's body and picking it up in one fouls motion. He carries his body bridal style out of the games corner, never looking back and ignoring the blood staining his blue jacket.

Gabriel watches for a moment, hands in his pockets before letting out a long sigh, he did what Lucifer wanted, he was done for a time. He liked Dean, he was a good kid, sure a little sinful but who the fuck wasn't in Hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 
>     [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)] [[Magician Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/76063879700/selling-to-the-highest-bidder)]
> 
> __________________________________________________
> 
> Gabriel was refering to Elmer Fudd just in case you didn't catch that.


	14. Scorpion's Sting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)

When Dean takes his first breath the air isn't magical, the air isn't light in his lungs, it's the same low quality vague mildew air of his tent. When he opens his eyes however he isn't alone like the first night, this time there's a chair in the middle of the tent, closer to Dean's side with a fallen angel sitting in it. It's Castiel of course, and he looks somewhere between slightly pissed and extremely relieved that Dean opened his eyes. The stare, a common thing between them, until Dean moves to sit up, his head swimming from moving too fast. Castiel is at his side in seconds, something Dean wouldn't have thought possible before. 

"Your wounds have healed and you will be fine but you can't move too fast. There isn't enough blood in your veins." Castiel's words are relaxing, like a hot tub after a long run and Dean sinks his was against chest to breathe him in. He smells clean with a hint of incense. 

Dean smiles against the fabric of Castiel's jacket, "I bet you say that to all the boys."

Castiel moves his hand up into Dean's hair, running fingers through the already messy hair, making Dean's face split into a grin. It takes a moment for Castiel to reply but when he does his voice is serious, "No, no I do not."

Dean moves back slowly as Castiel leaves his fingers in Dean's hair. "It was a joke Cas." 

Castiel stares blankly at Dean for a moment, titling his head to the side. "Is that supposed to be funny?" He sounds so much like a confused infant that Dean laughs, shaking his head and finally making Castiel remove his fingers, "it's hilarious." 

"Oh."

Dean rolls his eyes at that, leaning forward to place a kiss on Castiel's lips. Castiel lets him and they touch, but slowly as Castiel makes sure of. It's when Dean's lying on his back with Castiel over him that they stop and it's Castiel that stops them. "Dean you need something in your stomach." 

Dean growls slightly, digging his fingers into Castiel's hips, "Nah I'm fine, come here." 

If anyone ever thinks Castiel is weak Dean will personally beat the shit out of them because in one fluid motion with little to no effort he detaches himself from Dean's clutch and stands up. "I am being serious Dean."

With a low groan Dean throws his head back onto the pillow and turns to look at the name of his existence, "Come on Cas don't be a prude."

Castiel crosses his arms and puts on his best bitch face, "Food first. Sex later." 

Dean is not a puppy dog but his ears perk up, "Sex?" Ok, he's well aware he sounds a little too hopefully and it makes Castiel's serious face turn soft.

"Yes Dean, please let's get food. You need it." He holds out a hand now to help Dean up, which Dean takes as he stands up slowly. 

With one more shared kiss they leave the tent, walking next to each other as they make it to the mess hall.

* * *

Dean would have expected Gabriel to stay away from him and Castiel after that little show with the duck hunt but... he didn't. He sat down right across from them and started to shove cupcake after cupcake down his gullet. It wasn't until Dean makes a noise at the fifth cupcake that Gabriel talks, "Hey Deano!" He starts, crumbs flying everywhere but magically missing Dean's face.

"What?" He growls, sending a low glare at Gabriel as he picks up some fries, hell isn't that bad because well _french fries_. 

Gabriel takes a large gulp of the soda (where the fuck did he get the soda?), before speaking "Just wanted you to know that all of that," he gestures towards his chest and then Dean's, "was an act. They're always acts Dean, just to rile you up. He takes a quick bites of his next victim cupcake and spoke again, "I think you're a good guy, pretty much everyone here does." With that he takes a dramatic bite of his cupcake and sends a wink Dean's way.

That sentence, _'they're always act, just to rile you up'_ , is what got Dean threw his next five acts. Dean didn't get the option of Gabriel again, instead he got The Fool, Wick and her maidens, countless side acts and a carnie Dean hadn't met before, The Scorpion. 

It was this particular carnie that pushed Dean over the edge from attendee to carnie.

The Scorpion had a knife trick, one that strapped Dean on a large wheel. The Scorpion preceded to throw knives over and over into Dean's vital organs. Dean stayed silent for the first couple shots but when this carnie walked over and started to dig and twist the knives Dean allowed a pained howl but Castiel didn't come. Thousands of years seemed to pass under those knives, cutting reborn skin, destroying new nerves, revealing old and broken bone.

Despite the fact it felt like forever Dean knew it couldn't, that Castiel wouldn't take this long. After all, Castiel had promised to protect him last night, while kissing the freckles covering his broad shoulders when he thought Dean was sleeping. So Dean stayed standing, ignoring the knife hidden in his sleeve

It wasn't until Alastair seemed to slice Dean's very molecules that Dean finished with cutting the leather rope around his wrist before screamed enough. Dean never expected that to work as a distraction, but Alastair paused in his work giving Dean enough time to slide the knife out properly and stab Alastair in the chest. Dean got some really good hits on Alastair, however an attendee can't hurt a carnie, so the attempt was useless. 

Soon enough The Scorpion was choking Dean against the wheel once more. For a second, right when Dean's vision starts to blur past recognition, he sees a black feathered angel storming into the tent.

Dean never leaves consciousness, he just falls to the floor and watches as Castiel's eyes glow a heavenly blue tinted white. It's beautiful and scary at the same time, it's a horror and a miracle as Castiel presses his hand against Alistair's forehead, making his skull seem to glow white hot before the body dropped to the ground with charred eyes.

 

"I warned you not to harm Dean Winchester." Castiel growls out as he watches the body hid the floor with a sick thud. The next second Castiel's kneeling by Dean's side, investigating the wounds. 

The skin starts to heal on it's own, stitching itself together and turning dark on the inside of Dean's upper arm. Castiel rips the already destroyed clothing at Dean's arm to reveal the darkness that forms the mark. As Dean later learns the carnival can only have a certain number of main acts, while they can have any number of side acts, Castiel had told Dean he would probably end up being a side act but... The death of The Scorpion gave them a job opening. One Dean didn't even have to interview for, one that marked the skin with a scorpion tattoo. 

Dean watches as Castiel pushes back onto the balls of his feet, taking all of Dean's bloodied cloths and healed skin before gesturing as if he was addressing a crowd, "Welcome to The Devil's Carnival."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 
>     [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)] [[Lucifer Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75403510022/the-devil-finds-work-for-idle-hands-carnie-the)] [[The Twin Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75947675454/run-and-hide-heavens-rogue)]


	15. Feathered Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beta'd by [ifanyoneknew](ifanyoneknew.tumblr.com)
> 
> Just so everyone is aware this is a smut wing!kink chapter :3 because wings!

Dean and Cas had sex that night, the night he was officially made a carnie. But before there was a lot of drinking and partying with the other carnies (Benny made some powerful moonshine while Gabriel supplied other substances with some help from Balthazar). It was a night of blurring lights and loud music (who know that Satan enjoyed classic rock?). The party helped Dean some, the carnies who had once tortured him surrounding Dean and acted like he was family, which technically he was now. It was a good night, and it only got better when Castiel pushed Dean into Dean's own tent and touched him in ways even the most sinful man couldn't describe. 

There was only one problem and it wasn't Castiel's dominance in bed, it wasn't with the cat scratch marks across Castiel's back, it was the fact that Castiel never let his wings show. 

Castiel was beautiful when meeting his tipping point, when he was working himself up with heavy touches and shallow breath, when he came down to earth once again breathing all heavy with his eyes half lidded. He was beautiful all the time but he was godly in these moments and the only thing that could possibly make it better was if Dean got a chance to see those fucking wings. 

But Dean kept his mouth shut, he watched Castiel tumble down from the precipice of pleasure with Dean's name on his lips and his back arching beautifully. 

* * *

For the next hundreds of years Dean's soul continued to be tarnished, destroyed by the practice of damning people. But it was different now, different because of Castiel, the fallen angel with a protective and loving streak. Carnies tired to break them apart, tried to manipulate them but they stayed strong, even when they seemed at their worst (which it would be a lie if they said that never happened) they were still together, forever and always. 

Castiel still hid his wings during sex, he would flare them out during moments of high stress or extreme aggravation but never during sex and it started to bother Dean, badly. With Dean's brain over working this their relationship started to become stressed, causing fights and punches to be thrown. 

The carnival wasn't expecting this, none of the carnies were prepared for Dean and Castiel to sleep in different tents (something they hasn't done since Dean first got here), they weren't expecting the large blow outs that happened over dinner. 

What they did expect was the result of one night, when everything went back to normal, like it usually does. But this night wasn't a normal one, Dean and Castiel had moved out of the mess hall, screaming at each other for the most useless shit that Dean doesn't even remember, when the conversation took a turn neither of them expected.

"You don't trust me Cas!" Dean had barked out while they walked and fought. It was a normal thing, a fear that had wormed its self into Dean's soul years ago but stayed hidden. 

"That's bullshit Dean!" Castiel fights back, the cursing being a habit he picked up from Dean. "I have never given you a reason to think that! You're the one that does trust me." Castiel's voice lowers at the end, his eyes leaving their solid placement on Dean's. 

By this time they're half way through the carnival, far enough away from the mess hall no one will bother them and close enough to the end it would be a five minute walk to Castiel's tent. 

Dean stops and crosses his arms, more to stop himself from throwing punches than to protect himself. He takes a deep breath, gearing himself up for this. "Really, Cas, really?" Dean's not yelling anymore, his voice is still aggressive but he's losing his fire. "What have I done to make you think I distrust you? I gave you everything..." He takes a pause to let it sink in, both from Castiel and himself. " _Everything_." 

Castiel stands there, his eyes sharp as they look back up and his face emotionless, this being one of the times where his wings stay hidden. He opens his mouth to speak but Dean raises a hand to stop him, this time making an effort to look Castiel dead in the eyes. "You're the one that won't let me touch your wings, Cas. We've been together for centuries and your wings are still off limits. I don't have trust issues, you do."

Dean expects the punch that comes, he expected to stumble back, he doesn't expect that Castiel would start to speak, "You never asked Dean! This isn't some divine relationship where I know what's going on in your ridiculous brain! You have to _tell me things_." 

Dean rubs his forehead, letting out a terse sigh before starting up once again, "I know you can't Cas, but you had to at least have a feeling." 

There's silence from Castiel's end and the angel shifts his weight slightly, giving away his thoughts on this. Dean gawks, understanding what that means. "You _knew_  and you are trying to-" he throws his hands up in the air, giving up on the conversation all together and starting towards his tent. 

There's a strong hand on Dean's shoulder the moment he takes his second step and Castiel's voice cuts in a moment later, "Dean please, I can explain." 

Dean turns, only because Castiel had said please, and stares at the cracked angel. "Ok, I'm listening."

Castiel's blue eyes darted side to side, assessing if anyone was around, paranoid bastard. "I would like a little more privacy."

If it wasn't for the fact Dean loved Castiel he wouldn't have followed him, but he did so he followed in silence till they arrived at Castiel's tent and entered under the flap. 

The moment the fabric curtain hit the ground Castiel spoke up, rambling slightly. "It's.. What you're asking Dean is huge, I didn't... I was afraid ok? Angel wings are only supposed to be cleaned by siblings or permanents and you cleaning them...." He pauses, staring hard at the ridge of Dean's collar bone like that would somehow help, "it would bind us together...for eternity, you wouldn't ever be able to leave even if you wanted to." 

Dean doesn't reply, he knows his answer but he wants Castiel to look him in the eyes when he says it. Castiel continues speaking however, either oblivious to the pointed look Dean was sending his way or ignoring it. "I didn't want to have them come out for if you changed your mind you couldn't take it back, it's one of those things that can't ever get erased from your soul, it would-"

"Cas I'm trying to tell you something." Dean cuts him off, staring at Castiel's face until he's met by two perfect representations of a cerulean heaven, "I love you, I don't care if I'm with you forever, I'd prefer it that way."

"You could change your mind, Dean."

Dean chuckles, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning back in a nonchalant fashion, "I choose hell over heaven for you."

Castiel smirks, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he speaks, "You needed to, for Sam." There's genuine pain in Castiel's voice, maybe that's what had been itching at Dean's conscience. Either way, Dean had to tell the truth.

He shrugs, as if what Castiel had spoken of was just a formality, which it kinda was, and Dean takes the opportunity it provides. "Well yeah Cas, I needed to save my brother." Dean removes his hands from his pockets and steps forward, cupping Castiel's face in his hands. "But you honestly think that you don't make me want to stay?" Dean stares straight into Castiel's eyes, and (even though he'll deny he ever said this) continued, "You're all that matters to me, you're the only one that gave me a fighting chance and damnit I don't need hell, I need you. I'll always need you."

Once, when Dean was ten he went to the ocean for the first time. It had been fun, he loved the sand, the heat, the water. So when the lifeguard had warned the swimmers that the waves were getting dangerous Dean ignored it. He continued to play in the waves, he walked out far enough to be nearly submerged when the wave hit. It looked gentle and undaunting but the moment it hit it pulled him under and stripped him out of his skin. Castiel was like that wave, soft and controlled on the outside, while a beautiful destructive force on the inside. 

When Castiel leaned forward, placing a hand over Dean's he seemed to be calming, he seemed to be slowed. But everything seemed to speed up the moment bare, warm lips met. 

Dean was used to Castiel's commanding force in bed but today was different, he pushed Dean against the bookcase behind him, his lips claiming every inch of Dean's mouth. When the bookcase leans and groans in annoyance Castiel releases Dean, only to strip his own clothing. Dean follows suit, removing his layers in swift movements.

They met in the middle of the tent once more, bare chests colliding and causing a rough friction, fingers in hair, carding and pulling for _more_ , lips hungrily attacking the other with a passion poets wished they had. Soft sounds escaped mouths as both found sweet spots on the lover's body. 

This body pushing only lasted until Castiel's hands reached down and lifted Dean's calfs, causing him to fall backwards onto the bed. Even with the little indigent sound Dean made Castiel was back on top of him, working his mouth over Dean's neck. As Dean's head fell back and his eyes closed Castiel's mouth continued to dissect Dean's body, re-memorizing every curve and freckle, sucking and licking every beautiful soft spot and making Dean mew under him. 

Despite having his eyes closed Dean could suddenly feel a difference in the air when Castiel's hands traveled south, the cheating bastard. The feeling isn't anything intimidating or worrying, matter of fact it feels warmer, more safe, like Dean's wrapped in some sort of cocoon. Chancing bad luck Dean squints his eyes, noticing that there _was_  something different about the air. It wasn't the emotions between them, it wasn't their fighting of anything like that, it was the wings. Those fucking wings were out, making Dean's eyes widen in shock. 

The wings were curled over them and the top of the bed, shaking lightly like they're caught in some invisible breeze. Dean reaches forward and Castiel freezes, the wings jumping slightly before remaining completely still. 

"Can I?" Dean asks softly, his hand halting an inch before reaching feather. He drags his eyes away from the massive wings to look at Castiel's face and expressions, he looks nervous, really nervous, but he nods. "Are you sure?" Dean asks just to make sure, Castiel nods once again, biting the inside of his cheek so much so Dean notices the indent. "Cause I mean if-" whatever Dean was about to say was quickly cut off by Castiel's rather rough, mildly aggravated voice.

"Dean if you pussy out now." He cuts himself out, the silent threat more terrible than an actual one.  

It's then that Dean is stuck between laughing himself to death or finally touching the mystery that's been haunting him for the last hundred years. He goes with the wings.

When Dean was a kid he found a broken bird, too close to death to save but he still tried. He brought the bird to his mother and she showed him the basics of bird wing care (she had worked in rehabilitation center for a time). She helped the bird as best as she could but couldn't save it, it had destroyed Dean for a long time and because of that he knew some vague things about wings.  

There's a tendril of space between Dean's fingertips and the black wings before he takes the plunge. He doesn't go for the flight feathers but instead for the contour feathers. Dean splays his finger gently across the expanse of the inky feathers, watching as some slide through his fingers. It's an odd feeling, cool but warm, soft and smooth. He's so enamored with the feeling he almost misses the shutter that pulses through Castiel, he almost does but doesn't. 

Dean's head whips towards Castiel's face, staring up to his eyes, suddenly blown up and his jaw locked with concentration. Experimentally Dean runs his fingers farther into the feathers, pulling some fallen ones coming with his fingers. Dean's eyes widen as Castiel's back arches and a deep, shaky breath pulls from his lips. 

Dean has finally found Castiel's softest spot and he's not going to let it go. Sliding his fingers gently under the contour feathers he reaches the down, it's where the warm feeling comes from, it's like a little bubble of air was trapped there and Dean can't help but run his finger nails gently against the feathers, causing Castiel's free wing to completely freak, forming a small wind storm in the tent. Dean stops and slowly removes his hand from the down, instead pulling Castiel's head down. He's never seen Castiel this wrecked so quickly and he's so not done. The moment Castiel's attention is focused on their lips and not Dean's stilled hand Dean makes his play, moving his fingers against the grain of the feathers, causing the dead feathers to fall and for Castiel to break the kiss, his wings beating to try and gain control.

"Dean." He breathes, his voice cracking slightly, "Don't fucking do that." 

"Mmmhhhmm." Dean hums, running his fingers through the wing that comes back to him. Castiel's body pulses thus enabling Dean to make his move. It's not that hard to get Castiel on his back, it's actually quite easy, even with his wings Castiel seems to be more sensitive to every touch. Dean straddles Castiel's bare skin torso, leaning over to give him one last kiss before his fingers dive it.

Dean goes nuts on those wings, it's nothing actually aggressive but he thoroughly racks his fingers through the feathers. Castiel tosses and turns between Dean's legs, grabbing onto the sides of his chest and digging his fingernails into the soft skin. It didn't stop Dean though, he continued racking his fingers through the stretched out wings, and getting braver, started to swing his hips downward, skin rubbing on skin and causing beautiful friction. Castiel's body actually bucks at the motion, making Dean lose enough balance for Cas to push Dean on his back. 

Castiel does wonderful things when he's a top. He's a fucking animal and it shows now as he crawls over Dean's body, teasing him with just skin. "I said no Dean." He growls and despite the fact he looks wrecked already he's got that glint in his eye, the glint that fills Dean up with heated passion. Castiel's mouth makes it to it's destination on Dean's nipple, his tongue doing the most sinful fantasies come true. It's Dean's turn to buck, his movements useless towards Castiel's wings, trying to even the score. 

As if this wasn't already an unfair playing field Castiel's fingers slid downward, suddenly becoming slicked with lube (perks of dating an angel) before circling Dean. Dean was too busy worrying about Castiel's mouth to even think about the smooth slim fingers. He however got the pleasure of Castiel fingers slipping in and working him open. While Dean has been prepared several times by Castiel it never got boring or repetitive and this time it was no different. 

Castiel's fingers know the proper places, they make their way through him like it's all mapped out, hell, it properly is. Dean gasped and curled under Castiel's slick fingers, he mewed, grasped and begged Castiel to fill him. Castiel accepted, sliding himself easily in with pre-cum slicked member.

The feeling was pure ecstasy, different than ever before. There was a want, a need that had been absent before but now consumed Dean. Castiel's mouth has since moved from his nipple up to Dean's neck, he sucked the skin till it bruised, he licked and teased the soft spots as he thrusted Dean into another place of pleasure. 

The wings that had recently been splayed out now curled around Dean, cocooning him in a dark, warm, intimate pocket. It smelt deeply of Castiel and just added to the moment, causing Dean's body to slide and shake under Castiel's touches and thrusts.

To say Castiel was a tease is an understatement, he wrecked Dean, he tore down his bridges and burned him up. Castiel blew his mind, kissed his soul, fed his heart and fucked the sin right out of him. That was just on a normal day, today was different, today Dean was wrapped in warm wings that shaked and shivered, that convulsed with Dean at the height of pleasure while their eyes locked and bodies moved. 

Dean grabbed at Castiel's wings, running his fingers over and over through the feathers, causing Castiel's back to curl and his eyes to close. He breath is off, which never happens, and his body is moving in steadily faster pace, causing Dean's body to tense, and spasm slightly. As if a revenge of some sort Castiel pushes harder, searching for the soft spot he knows is there. Dean's back arches with pleasure, and he curves enough to place his forehead against Castiel's, their eyes locking.

"I love you." Dean growls, his eyes never leaving Castiel's. Cas responds with a bruising kiss and a very well aimed thrust, pushing them both over the cliffs. 

They tumble down, breathing heavy with crescent moon dips in their heaving skin. Dean rides Castiel until they are both spent, he clashes lips with the fallen angel and grins lazily. 

Castiel chuckles low in his throat, slowing down his hips before removing himself completely, wrapping his arms around Dean in the usual possessive manner he does. He nips at Dean's low lip teasingly, before kissing down his chin to neck and finally his chest. Castiel isn't the only one with a mark of their fall, Dean still has a hole over his heart, healed by scars but untouched. 

Cas breathes hot over Dean's skin as his kisses turn tender, his nose gently running along to freckled skin as he nears the old wound. He runs his lips over the wound, kissing it with a breathless mouth and a soft passion. They stay still for a long time, their raging lungs the only sound until Castiel looks up. 

Dean's always loved those eyes, a permanent trap, a lake where he drowns, something he could look in for answers and love. Castiel clears his throat softly, his eyes soft as he finally speaks, "I love you Dean Winchester, flaws and all." 

Dean smiles and leans down, pulling his angel up to kiss him once more. "Good, cause I put up with your dumb ass." He grins and Castiel chuckles once more, shaking his head softly.

"I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"I doubt it."

They kiss again, and when Castiel falls asleep Dean stays up to watch him breathe, to watch the gentle ebb and flow of oxygen out of his lungs and as his wings flutter softly in his sleep. Dean stares for hours, he maps out the cracks across Castiel's skin and runs his finger tips over the wings. He knows that this doesn't mean the wings will always be out, but now he's seen them, he's touched them, he loves them, just like he loves Cas. And that's all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Scorpion Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75293444896/thirty-years-of-torture-a-thousand-with-him)] [[Painted Doll Card](http://sidingwiththeangels.tumblr.com/post/75304351304/porcelain-angel-who-fell-off-the-shelf)]
> 
> If anyone wishes for me to do another chapter, please comment :) there is much I haven't covered but I felt as though I should hold off on the rest as it isn't as important as these moments.


End file.
